


Wind Of Change ＊ The Breeze That Blew Love Into The Heart of The Beast

by JKiryu, xAmalie



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Attempted Sexual Assault, Blackmail, Canon Compliant, Dialogue Heavy, Drama, Drugs, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Explicit Sexual Content, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Heavy Angst, Internal Conflict, Introspection, M/M, Mutual Pining, Post-Graduation, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:40:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 42,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26181274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JKiryu/pseuds/JKiryu, https://archiveofourown.org/users/xAmalie/pseuds/xAmalie
Summary: When Knights become victims of blackmail, Rei can't help but take an interest in the matter. Kaoru worries his partner could fall back into his old habits, but everything changes when the tables irreparably turn...“I'm relieved that Kaoru-kun still has the strength to look at the world with such innocent eyes, but I'm afraid I have to tell you that it's not that simple. While it's true that many would side with us, revealing that someone is blackmailing us could turn into a worse problem than the blackmail itself. Those innocent photos that we can afford to not take into account now, without the proper context, could cause an uproar. Given, of course, that those photos are indeed innocent. For now, we should just wait and see, asking ourselves what we would be willing to do if, unfortunately, we were somehow caught in some scandal."
Relationships: Hakaze Kaoru/Sakuma Rei
Comments: 51
Kudos: 128





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> ATTENTION:  
> 1\. Other additional tags to be added at the beginning of every chapter.  
> 2\. There is one chapter with non-con elements, but it will be marked so you'll be able to skip the scene.  
> 3\. Despite this, don't read if you don't feel comfortable, please.  
> 4\. We finished writing this story in July 2020, so many events won't be included! It's not really a canon divergence, so we didn't tag it, but we wanted to say it anyway. We are not english native speaker, so we're slowly translating this story. (That's why, please, bear with us!)  
> 5\. That said, hope you'll enjoy!

Kaoru smiled as he tasted the cream-covered pancakes. Humming a cheerful little tune, he stuffed another bite into his mouth with a look of pure bliss on his face, too focused on the food in front of him to really pay attention to anything else.

“Ahh. Kaoru-san looks really happy.” Ritsu's whiny whisper from across the table was almost too quiet to be heard. He was leaning with his cheek on the surface, watching Kaoru with narrowed eyes. “You shine so much... it's hard to bear it...”

“I always end up oversleeping when I have a job with Rei-kun, so I rarely have the chance to enjoy a good breakfast like this. I don't know why Hasumi-kun called for Rei-kun at the last minute, but...” Kaoru's cheerful mood didn't falter. “Well~ Although I still don't understand why Rei-kun accepted this job, since he can't endure working during daytime, I can't complain. I don't mind waiting for him if it means I can eat these pancakes~ I just hope he won't call me out of nowhere like he always does, begging me to carry him to work.”

“So that's why you're here...” Ritsu sighed tiredly. “For a moment I thought the sunlight had become stronger, but it was just you, Kaoru-san.”

“Why do I get the feeling that I've already heard something like that?” Kaoru frowned, trying to remember while sipping his coffee. “Anyway, seeing you up in broad daylight is far stranger, Ritsu-kun. Were you waiting for someone too? Sorry for dragging you out here with me then, but it would have been depressing to eat all alone. You're my saviour ♪”

“The least you can do is tell me how good I am~ I'm doing my best to stay awake during the day.”

“Yes, yes~ You're a good boy, Ritsu-kun ♪”

“Eheh~” Ritsu smiled wearily before yawning. “Anyway... I wasn't so much waiting for someone as I had to take care of something... Knights' agenda has been quite full lately, both with jobs and... problems, unfortunately.”

Kaoru tilted his head to the side a bit, raising an inquisitive eyebrow. “What kind of problems?”

With a heavy sigh, Ritsu sat up properly and rubbed the nape of his neck. He glanced sideways a couple of times, watching in silence as a man walked right past them. It was so strange to see such a pensive Ritsu – about something not related to planning his brother's murder, at least – that Kaoru couldn't do anything but wait for him to speak.

“Suu-chan instructed us to not tell a soul, but I guess there shouldn't be any problems with telling you, anija trusts you a lot after all...”

“Did something bad happen?”

“...not yet, but as Knights' mediator, it's my job to stop any difficult situation from getting out of hand...” Another heavy sigh, as Ritsu rested his forehead on the table. “...but I hate that I have to rely on Ecchan again...”

“Come on, Ritsu-kun! Smile, smile ☆” Kaoru rested his chin on the palm of his hand, smiling too. Apart from telling him he was sorry for whatever he was going through, he could do nothing but listen to him and try to cheer him up, after all. He didn't have any right to poke his nose in other units' business. “I understand that you don't like asking for someone else's help, I hate doing it too~ but if you're really going to ask Tenshouin-kun, then there's nothing you have to worry about. It's also in his interest to avoid any trouble.”

Kaoru felt two hands on his shoulders before hearing the deep voice that came from behind him.

“Choosing the right allies is the first step of a winning strategy. You should take Kaoru-kun's advice into account.”

Ritsu slowly looked up, a small discontented pout on his lips. “Anija... nobody asked for your opinion.”

“Rei-kun, good morning ♪” Kaoru, on the other hand, didn't even look up at him. He kept on smiling as he moved Rei's hand away from his shoulder, by now far too accustomed to his friend's behaviour to even be bothered by it. “Why were you called by Hasumi-kun? What happened? You're lucky we still have some time left before the photoshoot.”

Rei yawned and took his hands off Kaoru's shoulders.

“I'll tell you everything, Kaoru-kun, don't worry. For now... I hope you'll forgive me for asking, but do you mind if I join you for a bit? Unfortunately, although staying indoors makes me feel better, the harsh sunlight is still too much for me.”

Kaoru sighed. “That's because you accepted a job you're not suited for. Why did you even do that?”

“Kukuku. Who knows, maybe I just thought it would be entertaining to do something different for once.” He was still smiling faintly, but it was clear that Rei was making a huge effort just to be there. “Anyway… being able to see my beloved little brother and my partner in such good terms is such a beautiful sight.”

“Yes, and no one invited you to join us, so you can leave. That's how it works, remember?” Ritsu replied with an annoyed tone, at which Rei stifled a laugh.

“You know very well that old-fashioned custom of our family is no more, Ritsu.”

“Can we please avoid talking about anything related to your family's traditions, please? They still haunt me in my dreams sometimes.”

“I'm sorry if that happened to be a traumatic experience for you, Kaoru-kun, but your sacrifice had not only been essential for our family's ritual, but for the success of Resurrection Sunday as well. I'm still grateful to you for that.”

Ritsu looked between the two of them, not even trying to hide the tired, cheeky smile when he noticed Kaoru's frown. “I would have worded it better, anija. Kaoru-san doesn't seem happy with the 'sacrifice' thing.”

Rei chuckled. “My bad.”

Kaoru didn't even spare the two of them a glance, not even when Rei sat at the table with them. That ritual was something he absolutely didn't even want to think or talk about, a memory he would have gladly erased from his mind, if only it was possible.

“Rei-kun, why don't you tell me what Hasumi-kun wanted instead of talking about such ominous things?”

“Right, I'm not here to have a nostalgic look at the past.”

Kaoru carefully avoided asking who, in their right mind, would have described that event as 'nostalgic'.

“...then should I leave?” Ritsu asked, but Rei stopped him.

“Not at all. In fact, I think it's in your best interest to listen to what I have to say.” Rei leaned against the back of his chair and crossed his arms. “I've been informed that there have been several cases of photographic blackmailing among idols as of late.”

Kaoru felt a shiver running down his spine and he spoke without even thinking. “I didn't do anything this time!”

After the fake gossip Rei had put him through during the Starlight Festival, the mere idea of having to face dire consequences for any of his actions had worried him so much that Kaoru had done his best to behave well. He had not only avoided dating girls, but also avoided showing any ambiguous behaviour outside work... at least, he thought he did. Hearing that there was now someone who actually focused on idols and blackmailed them... made him ponder about whether or not he had actually done something questionable.

Both Rei and Ritsu looked at him, the latter with a doubtful frown. Rei tried to hide his smile behind his hand, but the chuckle made his shoulders tremble lightly.

“I know, Kaoru-kun, you've been a really good boy~ However...” Rei crossed his legs and glanced towards Ritsu. “...while we don't have to worry, I'm sure this will sound familiar to Ritsu.”

Kaoru's attention rested on Ritsu. “Uh-oh, I smell trouble.” He moved his plate so he could cross his arms on the table, leaning forward. “Did Knights end up in a scandal? Is that why you wanted to talk with Tenshouin-kun?”

“He's the one who informed Hasumi-kun. Tenshouin-kun has already had to cover up a few cases for some emerging idols, which, fortunately, haven't caused any damage to the agency's public image so far.” Rei thoughtfully brought his thumb and index finger to his chin. “However, it seems that there have been cases in other agencies as well. Suou-kun told him that Knights are also going through something similar. Is that right?”

Ritsu pouted at Rei's opinionated attitude before sighing.

“That's right. I was heading to Ecchan's office when I ran into Kaoru-san. Unfortunately, Ecchan is one of the few people who can compete with you, anija, when it comes to connections...” A cunning smile flashed on his lips when he noticed Rei's frown. “Suu-chan is already consulting New Dimension's top management about this, but any help is appreciated.”

Kaoru didn't realize he was clenching his fists until he felt the faint stinging pain of nails digging into his palms. Sometimes he missed being able to go on a date with a cute girl, even for a day, just to relax a bit, but hearing something like that only made him want to thank the unbearable and tireless concern Rei had always had towards him.

“We're not talking about a gossip magazine or a well-known public figure, but... Tenshouin-kun has connections everywhere, and yet you're telling me he still hasn't found the blackmailer?”

“It seems that there are people of some importance behind the blackmail, someone whose interest, we presume, lies in overshadowing Ensemble Square's idols.” Ritsu fully turned his attention towards his brother as he spoke. He listened to him carefully, new to all this information. “Men are not saints. ES is basically a newly-born world inside the idol industry, and as such it has already gained both the favours and envy of many. The brighter the light, the darker the shadow. It's not unthinkable that someone would want to crush it before it has a chance to really blossom. Indeed, it would be quite possible. When the voices of the new Sodom and Gomorrah will rise, those who acted like God until that moment will do anything to destroy them again. That's the society we live in.”

“I don't want to question Tenshouin-kun's ability to gather information, but... Rei-kun, if what you're saying is true, this time a few calls and some connections won't be enough to settle the matter.” Suddenly realizing that he was missing some key information, Kaoru looked at Ritsu and lowered his voice to avoid being heard by any bystanders. “I don't have the right to pry into anyone's business, and I sincerely hope you won't take offense to this, but... I really can't think of anything that could cause all this trouble to Knights. What happened?”

“Not much. Nothing to be afraid of, at least.” Ritsu ran a hand through his hair with a thoughtful expression, looking for the suitable words to explain the situation. “Well, it's not something to be taken lightly either...”

“If possible, I would like to hear the details, Ritsu. You obviously know more than Kaoru-kun and I do. Although I won't force you to tell us if you can't divulge such private information.”

Ritsu nodded and answered without any pleasantries. “Secchan got an anonymous message on Wholehands, and it was a photo of him with Yuu-kun. There's nothing scandalous about it, Secchan came back from Italy a few days ago and he met him by chance, so they hung out for a bit, but...”

“This person was in the right place and at the right time to take a photo of a casual meeting between two idols who usually don't even spend a lot of time together. That's too much of a coincidence.” Rei pondered.

“...exactly. It almost seems like they knew they would be meeting, it's disturbing. I have the feeling we're being constantly watched, and at the first misstep...”

They were idols, being in the spotlight was what they actually aimed for, and yet even such a pleasant dream could turn into a nightmare in the blink of an eye because of people who aimed solely at making their lives a living hell. And for what reason? Money? Envy? A grudge?  
Kaoru leaned back against the chair and crossed his arms. When he lowered his eyes and noticed the time, he let out a heavy sigh.

“I hate to ruin this moment, but we have to go, Rei-kun.”

Rei instinctively looked at his own watch. He nodded to Kaoru, then turned towards Ritsu one last time.

“Judging from the photo they sent you, they probably just wanted to test the waters to see how one of the Big 3 would react to blackmail. However, it's also true that you should talk with Tenshouin-kun to find a defence plan for the future.” Rei stood up and moved the chair back in its place. “It will be faster to ask someone who has already dealt with these problems, rather than do everything by yourselves. I'm sorry I have to be the one telling you this, Ritsu, but under these circumstances it would be wise for you to just leave the matter to him while all of you avoid any ambiguous behaviour... you know what I'm referring to. It would break my heart if I had to find out that something similar happened to you.”

Kaoru stood up as well and put on his hat, adjusting it on his head. He looked at Ritsu, who didn't seem willing to reply to his own brother, then he glanced at Rei out of habit, as if he was subconsciously waiting for him to give them an answer to that problem. He erased that thought from his mind after a second, annoyed at himself for even considering it. He didn't want Rei to shoulder everything on his own like he used to do, not anymore.

“I'm not the most reliable person when it comes to things like these, but...” Kaoru stopped beside Ritsu and leaned over him to gently ruffle his hair. “Although we are the same age, I can't help but see you as Rei-kun's little brother, so, if you want to talk about anything, Kaoru-onii-san will give you all his support~ I swear I'll do it even if you're a boy, just for you. Really, really.”

A giggle escaped Rei's lips. “My, my. What have I done to deserve such a trustworthy partner? ♪”

“That's why Kaoru-san would be a perfect onii-chan~” As soon as Ritsu's mischievous grin popped up, Rei's smile faltered.

“Okay, okay~ Let's go, Rei-kun, or we'll be late! Bye Ritsu-kun, have a nice day ♪” Kaoru chuckled nervously. He didn't even wait for a reply, too busy pushing Rei away from the table before he could make a scene in front of everyone with his usual 'mistreated big brother' routine.

Lucky for him, Rei seemed far more interested in talking about the blackmail problem than in persevering with his own wounded ego act. Although he had seemed on the verge of crying, the moment they exited the Café he turned towards Kaoru with a heavy sigh and a troubled frown, partly due to the bright sunlight making him squint.

“Kaoru-kun... What do you think about this situation?”

Kaoru adjusted his hat above his eyes to shield them from the sun, then glanced at the taxi waiting on the other side of the street. He was sure Rei had called it even before joining them.  
He slid his hands into his pockets and leaned back against the wall.

“Rei-kun is asking for my opinion, I could almost cry~ Is this love or are you just losing your mind because of the heat?”

"Kukuku. No need to put it like that. You know that I've always had a high opinion of you.”

Kaoru snorted with a smile, but he averted his eyes from Rei with a pensive look on his face. “I think we're in trouble, that's what. If your hunch is true and there are important people involved, I'm sure they wouldn't get their own hands dirty. They would ask someone to contact a freelancer to do their dirty work. Basically, there would be so many people involved that it would make it difficult to find the real culprit.”

“As expected from a member of the Hakaze family. You really know your stuff, Kaoru-kun.”

“Yeah, lucky me. I'm so happy I've grown up surrounded by manipulative hypocrites ♪” Kaoru laughed, but something seemed to suddenly pop into his mind. “Actually... I could ask a couple of questions around since I'll have to attend my father's party next week. I'm sure someone related to the entertainment industry will be there. I could find out if anyone harbours any resentments... it would be a starting point.”

Rei stayed silent for a few seconds, taking his time to reflect on the other's words. “My wish is for you to avoid anything you might find detestable, Kaoru-kun. I know that you don't like attending those parties, so don't burden yourself more. You already have a lot to bear. Besides, I didn't have time to tell Ritsu, but Hasumi-kun told me that all the previous cases were resolved simply by giving in to their requests, or sometimes even ignoring them. Of course, this is the first time their target is one of the Big 3, so we must be cautious. Technically, we UNDEAD could also become a target. Are they really testing the waters? Or do they have something up their sleeves and have ulterior motives? Not being able to tell what is going to happen... that is certainly upsetting.”

“I don't think I want to know what kind of requests they made...” Kaoru looked at Rei out of the corner of his eye.

“Nothing involving money, it seems. A few lives have been cancelled without explanation, while many idols have had to make specific statements. It really seems like they're aiming to put Ensemble Square's idols in a bad light.” Rei closed his eyes and sighed, fanning his face with his hand. The sun canopy of the Café didn't seem to help him that much. “While requests like these could have little to no consequences on a novice's career, imagine what could happen to a unit like Knights. They could blackmail them into saying something disgraceful in public and no one will ever know the truth. Judging from Ritsu's behaviour and what he said about that photo, I don't think they have to worry, but it's better to be safe than sorry.”

“Tenshouin-kun can't even admit that someone is blackmailing the Ensemble Square because it would paint him as someone who can't handle such common problems in the entertainment industry as gossip.” Kaoru raised a hand to his lips, muttering something to himself. “And yet, people could stand by our side, knowing what is going on.”

“Hm, I'm relieved that Kaoru-kun still has the strength to look at the world with such innocent eyes, but I'm afraid I have to tell you that it's not that simple. While it's true that many would side with us, revealing that someone is blackmailing us could turn into a worse problem than the blackmail itself. Those innocent photos that we can afford to not take into account now, without the proper context, could cause an uproar. Given, of course, that those photos are indeed innocent. For now, we should just wait and see, asking ourselves what we would be willing to do if, unfortunately, we were somehow caught in some scandal. However, I'm sure Tenshouin-kun will be able to find a solution before the situation gets out of hand.”

“I don't even want to think about such a possibility.” Kaoru murmured, glancing at his watch one last time before approaching the curb to cross the street. He knew Rei was right beside him even without checking, so he just kept talking. “I know that any photo taken out of context can be lethal, I'm a living example of that thanks to you. But what should we do? Pretend to have a perfect life? Weight every single word we speak? We too have private lives, why should I worry about the consequences of going out with a friend? It's unfair.”

“You speak the truth, but alas, that is how sinful and corrupted the world we live in is. Indeed, it's unfair, but malice is just one of the gears that form the mechanism of human society. It's up to people to find a way to shine in the midst of such darkness.”

“Ahhh~ I knew I should have focused on girls after graduation. It would have been easier and I wouldn't have had to worry about something like this. We were finally getting more jobs, too. What a bother.” Kaoru intertwined his fingers behind the nape of his neck and sighed theatrically, a gesture to which Rei couldn't help but laugh softly.

“And yet you're here, walking the same path as me, as my partner. I'll never be able to repay such a debt, Kaoru-kun.”

Another sigh, this time matched by a tired smile. “I'm not such a selfless man, Rei-kun~ And stop taking my jokes so seriously!”

“You're always ready to praise others for their qualities, but you're still unable to accept yours, Kaoru-kun. Could it be that you shine so brightly that it makes it hard for you too to see them?” Rei chuckled.

“There you go again with your jokes.” Despite his cheerful smile, there was a bit of embarrassment in Kaoru's voice.

Rei genuinely responded to that smile with one of his own. “Do not discredit yourself. I know how seriously you're taking this job, and how much of yourself you're putting into it to compensate for the time you think you lost during our years at Yumenosaki.” That said, Rei rested his hand on Kaoru's hat, as if he was stroking a puppy. “You really are a good boy, Kaoru-kun ♪”

Kaoru pushed Rei's hand away, this time with clear embarrassment. “Save these compliments for Koga-kun!” He glared at him when Rei stifled a laugh.

For now, they really could do nothing but wait and see how the situation would evolve.


	2. Sturm 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments, hits and kudos! You're lovely! ;;  
> No warnings for this chapter, just a bit of fanservice and more talks about the blackmail issue~

Kaoru leaned against the back of the couch with both arms before combing his hair back. His eyes slowly opened and a smirk formed on his lips as he crossed his legs. The sound of the camera shutter that was filling the room was just a background noise for the many thoughts in his mind.

“Another one, please.” The photographer said in a professional and detached way, something Kaoru was grateful for, since he really wasn't in the mood to joke around.

Because of the half-unbuttoned shirt he was wearing, Kaoru's necklace stood out against his bare chest when he leaned forward and rested his arms on his knees. He brought both index and middle finger to his lips and blew a kiss at the camera, then glanced briefly at Rei when, out of the corner of his eye, he noticed him reading something on his phone with a frown. Was he messaging with Keito? Or had something else happened?

“Okay, last one, then it's Sakuma-san's turn.”

Hearing his name being called, Rei put his phone away and stood up from the chair to approach the photographer. His frown disappeared when he looked at his partner with renewed interest.

Kaoru sighed, averting his eyes to focus on his job. He rested his chin on the palm of his hand and smiled, winking at the camera. He stuck his tongue out in a mischievous way, then he laughed wholeheartedly. He was just doing what he had been taught, changing his pose over and over again, and yet he knew he was barely paying attention to the shooting in progress. He was just glad he could do it on autopilot by now, and that the photographer seemed satisfied with his work.

“Okay. Sakuma-san, your turn now.”

Rei smiled at Kaoru, whispering a simple “ _Good job”_ as they swapped places. Kaoru returned the smile and thanked the guy from the staff who handed him a bottle of water, but he didn't even have time to drink it. His eyes were instantly captured by Rei, who, with disarming confidence, sat down on the couch and slowly crossed his legs.

With an almost ethereal elegance, Rei rested an elbow on the arm of the couch and raised his hand to his face. His gracefulness didn't match the mischievous look he gave the camera when he rested his other hand near his collarbone, exposing his bare shoulder and neck.

His every gesture, from the look in his eyes to the slightly parted lips that seemed ready to whisper sweet words to whoever would see those photos, mesmerized Kaoru. He should have been used to seeing Rei like that – and in a way, he was – but Kaoru couldn't help thinking that it was unfair for someone to be that perfect. It really irritated him, to the point that he grinned without thinking when he felt his pride being challenged.

“Do you mind lying down?”

Rei didn't even answer the photographer, he just did what he was told: he laid down, his fingers ghosting over his lips, before reaching for his chest with his other hand, barely touching his body. He then laid on his front with his arms crossed on the arm of the couch, a suggestive expression on his face.

Rei was easily saturating the air with his presence, without even thinking about it, or anything at all... unlike Kaoru. Rei had probably stopped thinking about the blackmail issue the moment he had put away his phone, while Kaoru had been settling for a mediocre performance only because the photographer had said nothing.

Kaoru took a deep breath after the photographer asked Rei to pose for another photo and then told them to take a five minute break. He absolutely couldn't accept to be outdone, at least not without giving it his best. Both him and Rei perfectly knew what this magazine was looking for, the Chief Editor had made it clear the moment he'd offered them that job... he wouldn't let Rei steal the spotlight without putting up a fight. Not to mention that a certain someone would have probably killed him if Kaoru had delivered a half-assed result.

“Rei-kun? ♪” Kaoru's cheerful smile immediately turned into an amused grin as he sat on the couch and leaned against its back. He looked up at Rei, who was standing behind him, and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt to pull him down, so that he could whisper without the risk of being heard by others, “Let's show them what we UNDEAD are capable of, shall we?”

Rei raised his eyebrows, amazed by Kaoru's sudden attitude change. He looked at the photographer, who clearly was as pleasantly surprised as him, then he looked back at Kaoru, grinning in return.

“My, my. You seem strangely comfortable, Kaoru-kun.” He was so close that Kaoru could feel Rei's breath against his neck, as Rei rested a hand on his shoulder and the other on the arm of the couch. “Not that I mind.”

“Don't get used to it, Rei-kun.” Kaoru's hand slid up along his neck and grabbed him by the nape, while his eyes settled on the camera in front of them. “I'll steal your spotlight if you don't keep focused ☆”

Rei turned towards the photographer, but didn't pull away from Kaoru. His hand slid from Kaoru's shoulder and reached for his necklace to intertwine it slowly between his fingers, brushing his knuckles against the other's neck with a feather-like touch.

“I know you have the ability to do it, Kaoru-kun.” Rei murmured softly, his voice clear from that short distance. “Show me the extent of your determination~”

Kaoru waited for the photographer to give them a signal to change position before talking again.

“You're too good to me, Rei-kun ♪ And lucky me you're a good-looking guy, taking these photos with someone else would have made my skin crawl.”

Rei chuckled. “I'm sincerely grateful to know that you're feeling comfortable, it would have been a problem with our work otherwise. Kukuku, as much as I knew your charm would be perfect for this job, I must admit that I wasn't sure you were going to easily accept it.”

“Why not? It's a magazine that targets a young female audience. Pure, little blooming buds that I absolutely want to please~ Too bad we don't have Adonis-kun with us, we would have easily gotten the front page... on the other hand, try to imagine the commotion Koga-kun would cause if we did something like that.” Kaoru kept his face straight as he said that, since the photographer told them they could keep going with the shoot, which made Rei giggle suddenly.

Rei apologized to the woman, then cleared his throat to regain his composure. The moment he made Kaoru tilt his chin up a bit, leaned over him and turned his gaze towards the camera, his smile was gone and there was only a sly look on his face.

Both of them focused on what they were doing, keeping quiet as the pictures were taken... except when Kaoru admonished Rei for suggesting – with an innocent, happy smile – that Kaoru should lay down on the couch so that he could stand above him.

Once they were finished with the job, Kaoru slumped into a chair and sighed heavily, grabbing his phone to passively scroll through social media. He didn't avert his eyes from the screen when Rei sat next to him and gently asked him to hand him his own phone. He just grabbed it from the table and gave it to the other.

He did, however, look at him when he heard Rei sigh. “What now?”

“Hasumi-kun is doing his own research. It seems that there have been cases even among CosPro's idols. I'm worried about the Aoi twins. Ritsu is smart and can count on his friends if need be, but those two kids don't have anyone they can rely on apart from their own agency.”

Kaoru put his phone away and crossed his legs. “Should I ask Yuuta-kun about this as soon as we get back to the dormitory?”

“Although knowing they're safe would put my mind at ease, I don't want to involve them if they're still unaware of what's happening.” Rei murmured, staring at Keito's Wholehands message.

Kaoru wasn't used to seeing him lose his confidence or be unsure on what to do, and to be honest he didn't like it, which is why he didn't even think when he lightly bumped his shoulder into Rei's to attract his attention. “Do you want to go get something to eat? We're done for today. We could meet with Hasumi-kun later.”

Rei immediately understood the intentions behind that gesture. “Please, forgive me if I'm giving you any cause for concern. I'm just worried about the people around me... both for you, and our beloved children.”

“It's not...” Kaoru looked down and away, rubbing the nape of his neck. “How many times do I have to tell you to stop worrying for me? Are we not partners?” He sighed far too theatrically before looking back at Rei, speaking in a singsong voice. “Shouldn't we support each other, Rei-kun~? ♪”

“It would be impossible for me not to worry about you, Kaoru-kun. I mean, we are working adults now, and yet we are merely beginners in the eyes of this boundless world. My humble desire would be to pave the way with our work and erase any obstacle that could hurt our children when they will finally join us on this journey. Not being able to protect you all from something like this... it would break my heart.”

Kaoru didn't reply right away. He knew Rei was right, they were nothing more than beginners, but unlike him, Rei wasn't a new face in the entertainment industry.  
Rei Sakuma wasn't some random guy who had no power.

“Rei-kun.” Kaoru called for him in a low whisper. “You would never do something without telling me, wouldn't you?”

Rei looked straight in Kaoru's eyes and smiled. “For a long time, I've lived a meaningless existence, been a false God on a pedestal so fragile that it could have shattered at any time under the weight of my sins. But I'm no God, nor a monster. I'm just a human being, and that's why I've long stopped living amongst the darkness like a beast. That's why, Kaoru-kun, my answer is no. I'm willing to do anything I can to support you, that's why I wish you'll support me too, as an equal. Really, really.”

Kaoru couldn't hide the embarrassment that made his face flush a bit when he laughed softly. “Rei-kun, I already told you to stop changing your way of speaking! Stop making fun of me!”

Rei chuckled, but didn't apologize for it. “So, where are you planning on having lunch~? Being spoiled and cared for by Kaoru-kun this much... I'm truly blessed to have you by my side ♪”

\- - - - -

“Knowing that there are such lovely fans always cheering for me makes me want to really give it all my best~ I really hope you'll continue supporting UNDEAD in the future, we'll do our best not to let you down ♡ Pinky swear... yeah, like that, no need to be shy ♪ Have a beautiful day~” Kaoru's sunny disposition could have defied the coldest of winters when he waved the girls goodbye.

Rei took his sunglasses off his head and pinned them to his shirt's collar. He smiled hearing Kaoru hum happily, but he didn't avert his eyes from his phone. “As usual, Kaoru-kun shines the brightest when he's surrounded by his fans.”

Taken aback by that statement, Kaoru frowned in an almost innocent way.

“Don't mind me, Kaoru-kun. It was just an observation.”

“Yours are never _just observations_ , Rei-kun.” Kaoru narrowed his eyes at him, but his smile never left his lips. Humming a melody he'd thought he had long forgotten, he crossed his legs under the table and took out his phone from the back pocket of his jeans to check his e-mail.

“I was just stating that you're comfortable with your fans. Given our occupation, it's a good thing.” Rei explained. He rested his chin on his hand, then tilted his head to the side a bit as he gave Kaoru a pensive look. “By the way. I don't think I've ever heard the melody you're humming?”

“What? Ah... that's...” An embarrassed laugh filled the moment of silence between them. “It's something I composed, if I may say so, during my first year... I think? I really don't remember, I used to skip classes a lot, so I think I did it out of boredom. I don't know why, but it's come back to me lately.”

“It's a really nice melody. It really suits you, somehow.” Rei smiled at him, but the moment his phone vibrated in his hand, both he and Kaoru immediately turned their gaze towards it.

“...what's Hasumi-kun saying? Another blackmail incident?”

Rei shook his head. “He's just informing me about Knights' situation. Seems like Tenshouin-kun and New Dimension decided to ignore the blackmail after all. They agreed that it would be impossible to put the picture into a scandalous context.”

“Hmm...” Kaoru furrowed his brow. “I know I should mind my own business, and so far I was doing it perfectly... but is it bad that I'm curious about what's in the photo?”

“Kukuku. Not at all, curiosity itself is nothing to be ashamed of, Kaoru-kun. Anyway, from what Ritsu reported, there's absolutely nothing in that photo. It's just a meeting between Izumi-kun and Yuuki-kun.”

“Okay... so, why were they worried?”

Rei looked up towards Kaoru with a puzzled expression he wasn't really able to hide. “Why, you ask? Hm, let's see, maybe it would be better to first tell you why they considered the photo harmless before explaining the reason behind their concern.” Since Kaoru merely gave him a sign to continue, Rei nodded and kept talking. “Those two have known each other since they were kids. They worked together, and grew up together. It wouldn't be strange for them to spend some time in each other's company if their schedules allow it, don't you think? It's just an innocent photo of two friends, that's why the agency decided to label it as inoffensive. The people behind the blackmailing probably didn't inquire about their past, they just thought it would have been easy to come up with a defamatory context.”

“Yeah, I'm well-informed about the whole story. Even though I did try my best to mind my own business during our third year, the whole 'Yuu-kun' story became quite famous in our class. Senacchi was obsessed with him... and yet, I don't see why Knights would have to worry about such a photo? I mean, Senacchi and Yuuki-kun barely see each other nowadays, it's not like they're-” Kaoru paused. He looked at Rei, realization finally showing on his face. “Wait. Are you telling me... those two...?”

“No, it's only speculation, but also a logical conclusion if we think about Knights' behaviour. I must say that ignoring the blackmail, in this case, has been the right choice. Not only did they pay no attention to it, but they also denied any possible relationship between the two of them, this way. They're basically telling them that they have nothing to hide and that's good, because the blackmailers won't see them as a weak target now.”

Kaoru's mind wandered back to his third year at Yumenosaki, trying to remember anything that could have helped him connect the dots. When he did, and realized that that scenario was more probable that he'd thought, a light-hearted laughed escaped his lips. “So... that's Senacchi's type~”

“It could be, or probably not. Remember that we're speaking hypothetically. At any rate, everyone will have to be careful in the future. That's why I warned Ritsu as well.”

Twirling his phone on the table to keep himself busy, Kaoru whispered without thinking, “There are times where you get deeply involved with someone else's life, huh...”

“Is there something about this story that troubles you, Kaoru-kun?” Rei asked carefully.

“What? Why?” Kaoru looked right into Rei's eyes, frowning. “Why should I be troubled by it? I'm worried about Senacchi at most, but I doubt he'll tell me anything if I try talking to him~” He sighed. “Anyway, I was just thinking about something someone said to me once, something about learning how to take care of the emotions that are born when we get deeply involved in someone else's life. I can't believe there are people willing to exploit such pure emotions without thinking about the harm they cause.”

Rei smiled sadly. “There will always be people willing to take advantage of other people's weaknesses for their own gain. We have to get stronger for this reason, to bear the weight of such an evil world.” Rei was quiet for a moment, before speaking again. “That said, I think the situation is under control for now. Without a scandal, there's nothing to be afraid of.”

“...yet.” Kaoru murmured, disheartened.

“Unfortunately, we have no way of tracking down the blackmailers. We have to be patient and wait for them to make a mistake.”

Kaoru waited for the waitress to bring their order to the table before speaking again. Both him and Rei thanked her with their biggest smiles, then he took a long drink of water and sat up properly. “So, we basically have to let them do whatever they want for now.”

“I'm going to warn Koga and Adonis-kun as well. Perhaps the culprit won't go so far as to sneak into a private school, but we have to be cautious. They targeted Knights after all, and three of their leading members are still going to school. Yuuki-kun too...” Rei put his smartphone down and leaned back against the chair, crossing his arms over his chest. “I don't like this situation at all.”

It was unusual for Rei to show such a worried face, and something about that made Kaoru feel strangely uneasy. He knew that he had all the rights to feel that way, but if someone like Rei was feeling troubled...

As much as he didn't like when Rei pretended that everything was fine, he didn't want to see him with such an expression either. And although Kaoru wasn't really comfortable with the idea that there was someone out there who was willing to destroy their lives for who knows what reason, he also realized that he had to leave his worries behind for the sake of his friends.

“Ahh, man. That's not good, not good at all, Rei-kun.” Kaoru brought his plate closer, enjoying the good smell that immediately made his mouth water. “Didn't you say that you wanted to pave the way for Adonis-kun and Koga-kun? You can't do that with that long face, you're just going to make them worry. Smile, Rei-kun, smile~ ♪”

Infected by Kaoru's smile, Rei complied, visibly more relaxed when he crossed the other's eyes. “I certainly didn't change my mind, I'm still going to do it.”

“Then we have to face the problem head on. We might not be able to catch the culprit yet, but we can be careful and stop the situation from getting worse.”

“Indeed, that is what we have to... no, it's what we can do for now. That's why I want to reassure you again, Kaoru-kun. I won't try to solve this problem on my own. It would be quite foolish to go against powerful people I don't know anything about. As I said, I'm no God, and this is clear proof of it. Selfishly speaking, this powerlessness... to me, it means I've become more human-like.”

“And here we go again with your speeches.” Kaoru laughed before starting to eat. “Well, at least you're your usual self now. I don't like when you're gloomy about something, it doesn't suit you~”

Rei smiled heartily. “I don't deserve Kaoru-kun's kindness.”

“I think so too, Rei-kun~ To be this kind towards a guy, what a waste... Ahh, I'm a principled man now, so I'll have to endure it ♪”

“If I didn't know you were joking, you would make my cry, you know~?”

Kaoru frowned, suddenly bothered by the fact that... Rei was right. Since when had complaining about having to deal with guys become a joke for him? When had he started to like spending his days with a guy without feeling disgusted?

“Who says I'm joking?” Kaoru shrugged in an attempt to hide his embarrassment, without even knowing why he was feeling like that. When he heard no reply, he looked up at Rei and noticed that he was almost on the verge of crying. Unmoved by it, he raised an eyebrow. “You do know it doesn't work with me, right?”

“Kaoru-kun... you meanie...” Rei looked down, sighing softly.

Kaoru almost burst out laughing, but he resisted the temptation to tease Rei even more. It was neither the place nor the time to make a scene. “Okay, okay. I was joking. Sorry, Rei-kun~ Now eat up, or it'll get cold.”

That seemed to be enough to make Rei happy.  
For a while neither of them spoke, too busy enjoying their food to pay any attention to anything else, then Rei's phone vibrated on the table and they both instantly turned to look at it.

“What now?” Kaoru couldn't help but ask.

Rei picked it up and started reading the e-mail with a deadpan expression. However, the moment he crossed Kaoru's eyes, his lips curved into a childish and amused smile. “While you were changing your clothes, I asked the photographer if it would be possible to have a few previews of this morning's photoshoot~ Do you want to see them?”

Kaoru's eyes lit up.

“Absolutely! ☆”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so you know, the song Kaoru is humming is Feather Heartache. Since we don't know anything about it (when it was written or why for example) we used it for something that will happen in the future!


	3. Sturm 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How many times can we say that we love every single one of you before sounding redundant? Anyway! No warnings and various characters in this short chapter! The calm before the storm.

“YOU DAMN BASTARDS, THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!?”

Kaoru moved his phone away from his ear as soon as Koga started yelling, putting his hand up in an apology when Nagisa frowned at him in confusion.

“Wan-chan, where are your manners? Is this how you talk to your senpais~?" Kaoru asked, trying to emulate the way Rei always talked to their underclassman during one of his tantrums.

“STOP CALLIN' ME WA- Gaah! Fuck! A _senpai_ should be a mature person, but you and Sakuma-senpai are just two idiots!”

“Hm~” Kaoru put his hand over his mouth, trying to stifle a laugh. “You're not honest at all, Wan-chan. Why are you calling Rei-kun _senpai,_ then?”

“S-SHUT UP! That's an entirely different matter!”

Kaoru laid down on his bed and crossed his legs, folding an arm behind his head. He nodded towards Yuuta when asked if he could take a shower first.

“Hakaze... senpai, what's the point of tellin' me and Adonis to avoid drawin' attention and be careful when all your fuckin' photos are all over the Internet now!? What the hell were you thinkin'?”

“Come on, Wan-chan! These are the basics! I know that you only care about sweating on stage while playing your beloved rock ‘n roll, but, as an idol, your duty is to know what pleases your fans. Fanservice, Wan-chan, fanservice~”

“Ogami-senpai will never become famous if he doesn't start thinking about these things~!” Yuuta shouted from the doorstep, something that immediately prompted Kaoru to put his finger in front of his lips, signalling for him to lower his voice.

“Tch. That's not fanservice, that's just a shit load of ambiguous stuff! For someone who always complains about guys, you certainly didn't think twice about clinging to Sakuma-senpai for those photos.”

“Eeeeh~ Wan-chan, are you jealous? Don't worry, I love Wan-chan too! Even though you always run away from me when I try to hug you! ♡”

“WHO THE FUCK IS JEA-”

All of a sudden, there were so many noises on the other end that Kaoru thought of checking if there were interferences or if he had touched something on the screen by mistake, but everything came back to normal in a few seconds.

“Hello, Hakaze-senpai, Adonis speaking.”

“Oh~? Adonis-kun, good evening!” Kaoru burst out laughing when he heard Koga in the background yell that he and Rei were bringing dishonour to UNDEAD by selling themselves out like they did. He then took a deep breath and cleared his voice, trying to control himself. “Are you both still at school? Oh, right, you had club activities and Wan-chan waited for you, I forgot you told me yesterday. Don't work too hard, okay? Rest is also important ♪”

“Sure.”

Kaoru waited, smiling when Adonis remained silent. “Is there something on your mind, Adonis-kun?”

“About what Sakuma-senpai said...” Adonis sighed. “I can't stop thinking about it. The situation doesn't look promising. I may not be used to these scandals, but if everyone is now on alert, it must means that it's not something to be taken lightly. And although Ogami's manners are questionable... I don't want to sound disrespectful, but maybe he's not entirely wrong.”

“HUH!? I _AM_ right!” Koga clamoured next to him.

“You two don't have to worry, I've already thought about it. Those photos won't do us any harm.” Kaoru sat up and crossed his legs. “How can you gossip about professional photos, published on an official magazine, which explicitly asked us to do our best to make them sell well? Those aren't compromising photos leaked without our permission, that's why I'm not afraid of the consequences. Of course, there will be those who will see them in a bad light, but I'm sure they're going to be outnumbered. We're talking about me and Rei-kun, girls will love them~”

“I understand. It seems my worries were unnecessary, then.”

“Not at all, yours are valid concerns~ Now, I'll leave you two to whatever you have to do. Don't be late, okay? And give Wan-chan a big hug from me ♡”

Kaoru knew Adonis had done what he'd just asked, judging from Koga's scream on the other end, before the call was cut. He smiled and stretched his arms above his head with a sigh. It was then that he noticed Nagisa looking at him with an intrigued expression.

“Ah, sorry if I bothered you, Ran-kun. Our puppy doesn't have any manners~”

“Don't worry. I just happened to hear what you were saying about the photos and I just wanted to tell you that I think you're right. Things that are done in broad daylight are harmless compared to the ones done in the shadows.”

Kaoru snorted an amused smile before laying back again on the bed, this time on his stomach. He bent his legs and crossed his ankles, humming cheerfully as he started texting Rei.

> “I spoke with Koga-kun and Adonis-kun. Koga-kun is... well, you know. What did you teach him~? He has no discipline, he told me we're two idiots ♪ Anyway, everything's okay now.”

Rei didn't make him wait long for a reply.

> “Thank you, Kaoru-kun. Although I tried telling him that something like that could never hurt us, he didn't want to listen to reason. We're not a low-level unit who only recently started attracting attention. Moreover, we've never behaved intimately outside ES. We have nothing to fear.”
> 
> “Outside ES? Why are you being so specific? Has something happened inside~? Rei-kun, do I have to worry that you could sneak into my room while I’m sleeping now? ♪”
> 
> “Not at all, Kaoru-kun~ It's a topic we're discussing at the meeting. A closer surveillance will be established within ES to limit outsiders' access, and the agencies will have to personally provide security to their idols, at their own discretion. It was asked to avoid any weird behaviour in public.”

Kaoru turned on his side, sinking his face into the pillow. The idea of being constantly watched didn't exactly make him happy, but given their situation he really had nothing to complain about.  
He looked at the screen of his phone again when it vibrated in his hand.

> “ES is considerate of the well-being of their idols, as well as their privacy. Of course, limiting the access to idols and staff doesn't solve the problem outside the structure. You have to attend your father's party in a few days, right? Be careful, Kaoru-kun. It seems that recently there has been a significant increase of cases.”

“Aaah, nothing's better than a shower before sleep!” Yuuta, with a towel still on his shoulders, dropped onto his own bed with a sound of utmost relief. “Hakaze-senpai, how did it go with Ogami-senpai? Oh? Are you texting Sakuma-senpai? Say hi from me!”

Kaoru didn't even think about asking Yuuta how he knew he was texting Rei, he just nodded with a faint smile on his lips.

Rei had told him it wasn't necessary for him to attend the special meeting, but waiting to be filled in was nerve-racking. He wanted to know more. He couldn't ask Yuuta because he had promised Rei to avoid involving the twins if possible, but he couldn't just sit there with idle hands and wait, especially when there was... something, that actually bothered him.

Both Nagisa and Yuuta turned towards Kaoru the moment they saw him stand up from his bed and go to the door, so he gave them a dismissive wave of his hand. “I've just remembered I have to do something. If you want to go to sleep, please, don't wait up for me, I'll probably keep company to Rei-kun anyway.”

“You're spoiling Sakuma-senpai way too much, Hakaze-senpai! You even started going to bed at weird hours to not leave him alone at night.” Despite his words, Yuuta looked more than happy when he put on his headphones and waved him goodbye.

He couldn't talk with Yuuta, but he certainly could ask someone who, Kaoru was sure, had at least a few answers to his questions. Someone who knew very well Rei's way of doing things and was quite close with ES' higher-ups.

Once he reached his destination, Kaoru knocked twice on the door and slid his hands in the pockets of his sweatpants. When the door opened, his lips instinctively curled into his usual polite smile, but he immediately noticed that something was off... and not just because there was no one on the other side, rather because of the strands of hair that were slowly moving on their own in front of him. Kaoru followed them with his eyes in silence, feeling his pulse starting to race as he raised his gaze to the top of the doorway. It was then that he noticed Wataru looking at him in his upside down state.

“Oya?” Wataru blinked a few times in astonishment, as if Kaoru was some sort of mirage, before jumping down with an elated smile on his face. “Am I dreaming? No, this must be a miracle! ☆ My, what has this humble clown done to deserve such a visit, Kaoru-kun? ♪”

“Good... good evening, Hibiki-kun... what were you-”

“What? Hakaze-senpai?” Subaru appeared instantly, peeking from behind the door. “Good eveniiing~”

“H-hey~” Kaoru greeted him quickly, blinking away his confusion. Perhaps it would have been better to avoid asking questions, especially if Wataru was involved. “Hm, Hibiki-kun, could you spare me a little of your time? I promise it won't take long.”

“That's fine with me! I'm here to fulfil any role you desire! Do you need a shoulder to cry on? Some advice from a preacher of love to another? Or... are you seeking information?” Wataru narrowed his eyes for a moment, laughing softly. “My time is yours, Kaoru-kun! I can't wait to find out what script has been written for us this time! ♪”

Kaoru crossed his arms and chuckled, nodding towards the communal hallway behind him.

“Given the situation, it would be a really bad script.”

“Fufufu. There are no bad scripts in this world~” Wataru closed the door behind himself and followed Kaoru. “There are only bad actors unable to elevate a flat and forgettable story and turn it into one full of love and twists. If you really think about it, we work hard every single day to avoid being stuck in such, as you called them, bad scripts. Aren't you too doing your best right now to avoid it? ♪”

“Well, I suppose that's another way of looking at it.” Kaoru crouched against the wall and sighed, looking up at Wataru when he decided they were far enough from possible prying ears. “Since it's clear you know why I'm here, I won't waste any more of your time, Hibiki-kun. I would like to know if you've heard anything from Tenshouin-kun about the blackmail situation. I know that is confidential information, but... Rei-kun has been obsessed with this story since he found out about what happened to Knights. He told me he wouldn't hide anything from me, but I can't help but feel concerned. I'd like to help him somehow, but I have to know the circumstances to do it.”

“To love and be loved, how wonderful! ☆” Wataru put his hand on his heart, sighing way too theatrically. “However, you should already know the reason behind your concerns. Rei is obsessed with anything that could harm those who are dear to him, that's the extent of his love~” He crouched in front of Kaoru, humming cheerfully, his long hair now grazing the shiny floor. “You want answers, and I can understand that. I'm also flattered that you thought I could give them to you, but, Kaoru-kun, you're making a mistake. The main characters' introspection is as important as the plot itself in a story ♪”

“...” Kaoru covered his mouth to try and hold back a laugh. “...seriously, I'll never be able to understand you, Hibiki-kun.”

Wataru smiled gently.

“You're searching for clues, detective-san, but I don't have them. Eichi is doing his best, and yet he doesn't know anything more than Rei already does. You should start thinking about a role that would suit you better as of right now.”

Kaoru was about to tell him to stop talking so vaguely when his phone vibrated in his pocket. He excused himself, opening the message as soon as he noticed it was from Rei.

> “Rhythm Link, like all other agencies, has decided to enforce their own directives. For the time being they won't take any emergency measures, but they want everyone to be on alert.”

“Say hello to Rei for me ♪” Wataru chuckled sweetly.

Kaoru nodded, but frowned a second later. He slowly looked up from his phone to meet the other's gaze, narrowing his eyes. First Yuuta, now him...

“...how?”

It didn't take long for Wataru's chuckle to turn into a sly one. “A smile is worth a thousand words, Kaoru-kun~ And you have the sweetest and loving one when you talk with Rei ♪”

A hot flush shot up Kaoru's cheeks, and because of the sudden panic his phone slipped from his hands. In a vain attempt, he tried to catch it before it could hit the floor.

“H-Hibiki-kun!!!” Kaoru laughed nervously and a shiver ran down his back. “That's a terrifying thing to say! Of course I care about Rei-kun, he's my partner~ But don't say something like that with such a serious voice, please! It almost sounds like... ew, I don't want to think about it!”

“Fufufu. Love comes in many forms, there's nothing to be ashamed of.” Wataru stood up, gesticulating while speaking. “Blessed are those who can get a glimpse of it! Ahh~ to be fed by this feeling's boundless strength! Amazing! ☆”

“I would have agreed with you if you hadn't implied that there's something between me and Rei-kun...” Kaoru muttered as he stood up as well. He sighed, rubbing the nape of his neck. “Anyway... I guess all I can do, for now, is to be careful so that Rei-kun won't fall into his bad habit of trying to solve everything by himself. I know he's doing his best, but... I don't know, sometimes I get the feeling that he's hiding something from me.”

Wataru seemed strangely satisfied with Kaoru's answer, to the point that he grinned smugly. Only for mere couple of seconds though, because he instantly turned back to his usual kind smile when he crossed Kaoru's eyes.

“That's certainly a fitting role for you, detective-san. Show me that you'll be able to improve this _bad script_ ~ ♪”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who's ready for the angst?


	4. Sturm 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh, so sorry we didn't answer all the comments, we're doing our best to translate this story as fast as we can and we sometimes forget about everything else while doing it... Anyway! We love you all, you know ♥ As we said in the previous chapter, time for a lot of angst. 
> 
> WARNINGS: Non-Consensual Drug Use, Attempted Sexual Assault, Non-Con (the scene starts and ends with the ↔ if you want to skip it), Age Gap, Mob Character.

Kaoru took a deep breath, mentally preparing himself to enter the luxurious hotel. He checked his cufflinks and casually fixed his jacket with learned gestures that by now came naturally to him. He really wasn't in the mood for dispensing fake smiles and pretending to be actually interested in the business of his father's associates, but he had to remember he was doing it for his siblings, since neither of them could attend the party that night. Their father would have been furious if none of his children had made a public appearance with him during that party.

Kaoru really hated it, both him and that stupid public image he had to uphold, but he would still do it if it meant lessening his siblings' burden, even for a day.

Well, not that Kaoru was at his best either. After spending days surrounded by people talking about blackmail and conspiracy theories, he was feeling both mentally and physically tired.

It was now clear to everyone what the true purpose behind all the blackmails was. The private lives of idols clearly didn't matter to whoever was behind it, they just wanted to put pressure on the whole system, judging by the requests they'd already made. Every single one of them had been advanced with the goal of casting a shadow over ES's activities and make it lose credibility, and although the rigid surveillance within ES had helped ease everyone's concern, it was clear that the upper floors were on edge because they wanted to mitigate any possible negative consequence.

“Ahh~” Kaoru sighed and rubbed the nape of his neck as he walked towards the hotel's main entrance. “I want to go home...”

He couldn't wait to go back to his dormitory and forget about everything. He didn't care that, since he was now used to staying awake through the night, he probably wouldn't have gotten any sleep anyway; he just wanted to relax... and maybe try to meet up with Rei, since he hadn't seen him since the day of their photoshoot. Rei had been keeping him informed about the situation whenever he had news, and they did always spend their time messaging each other about silly stuff, but-

Kaoru halted on the staircase and smiled nervously the moment he realized what he had almost thought, mentally cursing Wataru.

_He didn't miss Rei._ Kaoru was just worried about him, since Rei seemed so absorbed into the situation, nothing more. Wataru's words about feelings and love  _absolutely_ didn't matter. It was normal to be worried about your own partner... right?

“Hibiki-kun, I hate you.” Kaoru muttered to himself when he reached the top of the staircase, taking one last look around. He couldn't afford to be thinking about such things, not when he was about to spend hours in his own personal hell, surrounded by idiots who did nothing but boast about all the power and influence they had instead of using them for something useful.

Back straight, head held high, Kaoru advanced with confidence towards the reception hall on the upper floor, where the party was held. He returned the greetings of those who approached him, bowing to his father's businesses partners, smiling delightfully to their young daughters and a bit more cheekily to their wives. A performance he knew by heart and of which he was tired, but it seemed to please his father, since the man even deigned to talk with Kaoru for a few minutes instead of simply acknowledging his presence with a quick nod of his head, like he had always done in the past.

\- - - - -

Kaoru knew that if he'd heard the word  _omiai_ again, he would have dropped his smile and proceeded to kill someone instead, and not only because of all the bad memories linked to his sister's experience. Having to pretend he was interested in contracts and marketing was already difficult, but having to pretend that he was interested in marrying a girl he had never met and knew nothing about was by far the worst.

_I already have to deal with a spoiled kid every single day, thank you!_ It would have been fun to see their reaction to a similar response, too bad he couldn't actually say it out loud.

“How about we discuss it in the future?” Kaoru whispered to the woman, looking at her straight in the eyes. “Two young people should have the freedom to try everything they want before getting married, otherwise they would end up regretting something, don't you think?”

The woman chuckled, lowering her voice. “Kaoru-kun, you've always been too mature for your age. I really hope we'll be able to talk about it again. See you around.”

Kaoru waited for her to approach another group of women. He looked around, then glanced at his wristwatch, sighing when he noticed that the road to his freedom was still long. That was why he picked up his phone.

> “Rei-kuuuuun~ Save me, the party is so boring! They're trying to arrange my marriage with their daughters! Come here and tell everyone that I'm a very busy guy~ ♡”

“Excuse me?” A light pat on his shoulder caught Kaoru's attention. “Hakaze Kaoru-san?”

Wondering to whom he would have to fake his cordiality this time, Kaoru put his phone back into his pocket and turned around with his biggest smile. However, the moment he crossed the other man's eyes, his face dropped into a frown.

“Yes? And, you are...?”

The man smiled. He was wearing a plain black dinner suit, and nothing about him especially stood out other than the fact that he looked younger than he probably was. “There's no way someone like you would know me, I'm only the marketing manager of a small agency in the entertainment industry. We often offer jobs to new idols, that's why we had the opportunity to be in contact with Ensemble Square a few times. I have to say, it's been a great pleasure.”

“Oh?” Kaoru sharpened his gaze on him. “Really? What a nice coincidence to meet you here, then. May I ask for your business card?”

“Of course!” The man's smile didn't falter as he searched for the card holder in the inner pocket of his jacket. “I'm sure there are still some left. Oh, here it is!”

Kaoru took the business card as soon as the man handed it to him. It was just like any other he'd seen, displaying the name of an agency he had never heard of along with a telephone number. Nothing seemed  _too_ suspicious about it... although the same couldn't be said about the man in front of him.

Kaoru didn't know if his scepticism was due to Rei's many recommendations to be careful when outside Ensemble Square or if his subconscious was ringing an alarm bell on its own, but to his ears, everything that man said sounded like a lie. As far as he knew, it was highly possible that Eichi was making contact with others agencies to extend ES's sphere of influence in the entertainment industry, but... like he'd said, meeting someone like him at such a party seemed like too much of a coincidence. Or was he just imagining things?

Kaoru brought the card to cover his lips as he glanced at the man, hiding a smile behind it. He put it away in his jacket's pocket, turning back into his usual sunny self in an instant. “Why have I never had the pleasure to meet you at these parties?”

“I'm here on behalf of my boss, since he couldn't attend. He had to discuss some important business with someone here, but at the last minute he got held back at work, so... I'm here in his stead.” The man bowed his head, laughing in an almost embarrassed way. “I'm no one important, it would be strange if Hakaze-san's son would know about me.”

“Well, you must have the respect of your boss, since he delegated such an important job to you. And you can clearly talk your way out of things.” Kaoru crossed his arms over his chest and tilted his chin up, barely sparing him a glance. “No offense, of course.”

The man laughed nervously. “It seems you're annoyed by my presence. I'm sorry, maybe it would be better to leave you alone? After all, I only approached you out of curiosity. You must be busy.”

“What? Oh, no, I'm sorry~” Kaoru put his hand on his hip when he realized how intimidating his previous gesture might have looked, and resumed speaking in a cheerful tone. “I just want to keep my personal and professional lives separated~ Sorry if I gave you the wrong impression, by no means I meant to do that ♪”

“My apologies then. The reason why I approached you is because of your work, actually. Even if I'm just a marketing manager, I can't help but admire the world of idols. My daughter is a big fan of yours, you know? I ended up taking a liking to you too because of her!”

“Really? Happy to hear that~”

“Yeah, I happened to see your recent job too, the photoshoot with that famous magazine? You and your colleague were all over the Internet. Really nice work. My agency often collaborates with that company, although for different purposes.”

Kaoru barely hid his disgust behind his usual smile. There was something about that man, something in his voice and smile, that sent a shiver down his spine. He knew he didn't have any evidence, and that man's story sounded compelling, but somehow... Kaoru knew there was something else hidden behind his appreciation for his work. And his instinct was rarely wrong. Well, he had the name of his agency and their number. He didn't want to get his hopes up, but at least he had something.

“As much as I would love to continue this conversation, I should greet the other guests. My father will kill me if I don't do my part.” With the same, big smile curving his lips, Kaoru clasped his own wrist behind his back, relaxing his shoulders. “Can we postpone this for another time?”

“Sure! And sorry if I got a little carried away... but please, can I at least offer you a drink? To celebrate this meeting.”

“You should know that I can't legally drink yet.”

The man giggled. “Of course I know that, obviously I would like to offer you a non-alcoholic drink. Whatever you'll like.”

Kaoru wanted to refuse, but he knew it wouldn't have been the polite thing to do. That's why he just nodded in silence, waving goodbye to the man as he excused himself in a delighted voice... before erasing his smile from his face the moment said man turned his back to him.

He didn't know how much of that story was true, but he was sure that man hadn't been entirely honest with him. Kaoru was no fool, he had endured too many of his father's speeches to not know how that world worked. Only an idiot would have skipped such an important party and sent an ordinary marketing manager in his stead.

Kaoru picked up his phone, realizing it was neither the right place nor the right time to make assumptions. It was then that he noticed Rei's answer to his previous message.

> “It seems Kaoru-kun found a way to have fun even during such a detestable moment. Good, good. Although I can't blame those poor girls, since you certainly have the charm to win them over, it's also my duty to remind you to be careful~”
> 
> “Don't worry, Rei-kun, I promised I would pay attention to our work from now on, no more dates with girls (unfortunately~). Plus, I would never betray you~”

Snorting a laugh, Kaoru put his phone back into his pocket when the man approached him again and handed him a champagne flute. He thanked him, but brought it to his nose right after to make sure there was no alcohol in it, making the man chuckle a bit.

“It's non-alcoholic champagne, don't worry.” The man's smile reached his eyes as soon as he crossed Kaoru's. He raised his flute towards Kaoru, toasting to their meeting. “I would never do something you might despise, Hakaze-san.”

\- - - - -

Gasping for breath at the sudden lack of oxygen, Kaoru leaned against the wall next to the elevator when he noticed his legs were shaking. He slowly looked at his hand, realizing that not only the tremor had gotten worse, but the nausea caused by his dizziness was increasing as well.

“Why...?” Kaoru hastily loosened the knot of his tie, his neck and back coated in sweat. He clumsily fumbled to press the elevator button and then leaned with his hands on his knees, wheezing and coughing. His heart was beating so fast that he could feel his blood roar in his ears. “What's... what's wrong with me...?”

When he had started feeling a bit flushed and dizzy, he had excused himself and walked away to get some fresh air, but he'd quickly come to realize that his current state didn't feel normal at all. He was so overwhelmed by all those sensations that he only noticed the elevator doors were opening when the bell dinged, the sound ringing in his ears and making him cringe.

Kaoru took a tentative step. He almost tripped, but somehow he managed to enter the elevator and to lean against the huge mirror wall. He then took a deep breath – as much as he was capable of – and reached for the buttons. Only then he noticed that his vision was blurry, to the point that he wasn't able to focus on anything. A sense of panic and fear made him gasp and his heart started beating faster.

“Calm down...” Kaoru closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around himself. “...calm down...”

When he opened his eyes, for a split second, his vision had cleared. He pushed the ground floor button and sighed in relief, but before the doors could even close, a hand shot in to hold them.

Kaoru looked up, frowning when the man he'd met earlier at the party entered the elevator, panting lightly.

“Hakaze-san? Are you alright?” His voice should have sounded kind, concerned, and yet… it didn't. As the doors closed behind him, there was only malice in those eyes. “Do you need anything? I saw you from over there, what happened?”

“I have to...” Kaoru leaned forward on his knees, sliding down along the mirror. Standing was far too difficult a task, given his trembling legs. “I have to...” He gulped. “...I need air...”

“Let's get out of here, okay?” The man said, pushing the ground floor button.

Kaoru nodded, staring into space, until a sudden shake from the elevator made him lose his balance and fall to the ground.

“What...?” Kaoru's eyes widened as he looked up at the man, although he couldn't even focus on him. He had no control over his body, his sight or his hearing... even the silence of that confined space echoed loudly in his head. He was utterly terrified. “What happened...?”

“I think I pushed the wrong button and the elevator stopped.” The man approached Kaoru and kneeled down. “Can you stand up? Try breathing slowly.”

**↔↔↔**

Kaoru tried pushing him away the moment he reached out towards him, as if his presence was aggravating the already suffocating feeling, but the man grabbed him by his wrist and rested his other hand on Kaoru's shoulder.

“I'm sorry, Hakaze-san, but we'll have to wait.”

Kaoru shook his head in disbelief. He grabbed the front of his own shirt with his free hand and squeezed, staring at the man with glossy eyes. He didn't know how to placate the thundering of his heart, or how to get rid of the panic that was driving him crazy.

“Be a good boy and stay put.” The man whispered to him, lightly massaging Kaoru's wrist with his thumb. “Your heart's beating fast, but there's nothing to be afraid of. You'll get better.”

Kaoru's gaze quietly settled on that hold. With his body shaken by constant shivers despite the fire that was burning inside him, he couldn't even  _think_ , let alone  _speak_ .

“Listen to my voice. It's alright. Breathe slowly.” The man's lips brushed against Kaoru's ear. His fingers moved from his shoulder and ghosted over his neck before resting on Kaoru's chest, on his jacket's pocket. After a few seconds, he had unfastened the first button of his shirt, then the second, his whispers continuing. “Breathe... you need to relax. Here, I'll help you.”

Kaoru's eyes widened and he felt his nausea worsen. He tried to break free from the other's grip, but he had no strength at all. “Wai-”

“Shh.” The man shushed him, this time barely touching Kaoru's cheek with his mouth before going down his neck and his bare shoulder, which he kissed briefly. He lowered his free hand to rest it on Kaoru's side. “I won't do anything bad, okay?”

A strangled noise escaped Kaoru's lips. Unable to restrain his emotions and sensations or to understand why something like that was happening to him in the first place, unable to even process what was going on... he froze, looking at the stranger with teary eyes.

“Hey...” The man released him so that he could cup his face with both hands, smiling lasciviously against Kaoru's lips. “There's no need to cry. I told you, nothing bad will happen, I promise. Let's have some fun while we wait for the elevator to work again, okay?”

_Fun_ ...? How could Kaoru have fun when he was on the verge of crying? When he was feeling so powerless? But above anything else, how could that man seriously think he would stay silent and be at his mercy?

That question made something inside Kaoru snap. He didn't know if it happened because he was unable to stand those disgusting touches anymore or because his anger fuelled his strength, but somehow he managed to kick him in the stomach and push him away, aided by the fact that the man was completely taken aback.

“Go to hell...” Kaoru gasped as he stood up, firmly holding on to the elevator handle. “I knew there was something off about you...”

Kaoru wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, but he didn't have time to relax as the man got back to his feet and pushed him against the wall. His fake, twisted kindness disappeared as soon as he grabbed Kaoru's wrists, before pinning them above his head with one hand.

“Why are you making things difficult, huh?” The man whispered, grinning as he groped Kaoru's thigh with his other hand. “Judging from the photos you shot, you seemed all but prudish.”

Kaoru tried again to break free from the man's grip, blinking and squinting his eyes to keep his vision clear. He was about to speak, yell if needed, even if his throat was burning, when the other took him by surprise and grabbed his jaw. A second later, the man was kissing him, his tongue greedily savouring Kaoru's mouth.

Terror took over any other emotion. The previous dizziness and nausea were nothing compared to how hard Kaoru was shaking now. His heart was beating so fast that his chest hurt, the smell of alcohol and smoke making his skin crawl.

“Wait-” Kaoru couldn't even recognize his own voice when he spoke in a soft whisper. “I- why-”

“Why, you ask?” The man furrowed his brow. He didn't move away from Kaoru, not even when the elevator started moving again. Instead, he ran his fingers lightly over Kaoru's stomach and down towards his crotch. “I already told you why. I really like you, Hakaze-san... I'm a big fan of yours.”

Just like before, Kaoru didn't have the time to react before the man kissed him again, stealing what little oxygen he still had in his lungs and shoving a hand between Kaoru's legs without hesitation.

But as suddenly as it had started, everything... ended. No more touches, no more forced kisses. As soon as the elevator slowed down, the man pulled away from Kaoru with a disgustingly satisfied expression on his face.

“Now, Hakaze-san, if you-”

**↔↔↔**

Kaoru didn't waste a second listening to the man. The moment the doors opened, his body moved on its own. He didn't pay any attention to the two maintenance workers, didn't even apologize for crashing into them as he started running towards the hotel's main entrance, supporting himself on whatever he could find.

The cold night air made him shiver, but his skin was far too hot and he soon realized he couldn't breathe. No matter how hard he tried, he started coughing and gagging when he strained his lungs too much, and in a second he found himself running again with all his might, down the staircase of the hotel, away from the main street, from anyone.

Fear and anger poured into him like a flooding river when he entered a deserted alley. He threw up the entire content of his stomach until there was nothing left, until he started spitting bile instead, as he kept thinking about that man's touches. His throat burned and his eyes filled with tears that started running down his cheeks.

Kaoru leaned against the wall and took a few steps away from the alley entrance. His hands were still trembling and his vision was still blurry, but he knew he had to calm down somehow. He wanted to get away from there, he wanted to go back to the dormitory, to his room, but he also knew that he couldn't do it by himself. He could barely stand up... and he couldn't be seen around like that.

Kaoru slid with his back down the wall and sat on the ground, breathing slowly. He wiped his tears and picked up his phone, rubbing his eyes with his hand before focusing them on his phone. Only after a bunch of attempts he managed to unlock it, and Rei's answer to his last message instantly popped on the screen.

> “I would never betray you either, Kaoru-kun. I couldn't have asked for a better partner~”

Kaoru laughed. A wheezy laugh, harsh in his throat, as he realized how much he wanted Rei by his side in that moment... to the point that he was already calling him before his mind could register it.

The phone rang once, twice. Rei's calm voice echoed at the other end of the call after the third ring, well awake despite the late hour. “Rei speaking~ Hello, Kaoru-kun?”

Kaoru's heart skipped a beat. He wiped away his tears as soon as he felt them start running down his cheeks again, casting a fleeting glance towards the main street.

“Rei...” A whisper, a plea. Kaoru didn't even pay attention to the lack of suffix or honorifics when he called Rei's name in a way that didn't hide anything about what he was going through.

A tense silence rang for only a beat.

“Tell me where you are, Kaoru-kun.”


	5. Sturm 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No new warnings for this ch, let's pick up where we left off ♥

With his palms pressed into his eyes and his lips slightly parted, Kaoru sighed in relief when he realized that the thunderous pounding in his head was no more. Not once he had stopped shivering despite his burning body, and undoing his tie and opening a few buttons of his shirt hadn't even helped him that much. He was still seeing double and the nausea was still there, a reminder that any sudden movement would have made him throw up again, and yet, in a way, the fact that the headache had stopped meant that whatever had affected him was slowly passing, and that was more than enough to give him a glimmer of hope.

Kaoru leaned against the wall and closed his eyes as he rested his arms on his knees, fists instinctively clasping around the opposite wrist when his mind went back to what had happened in the elevator. Surrounded by the silence, away from people's laughs and voices coming from the main street, he couldn't avoid thinking about those unwanted attentions, and his stomach turned as he remembered the disgusting feeling of that man's hands on his skin.

He was feeling awful, and not just because of his physical condition. His burning throat and the sharp pain in his stomach were as unbearable as the dizziness and the nervousness that was still making his hands shake, but nothing could compare to how powerless he had felt while being locked in that elevator, at the mercy of something he wasn't even able to explain.

“Kaoru-kun!”

Kaoru slowly opened his eyes again.

“Rei-kun...?” He thought that he had imagined that familiar yet unusually worried voice at first, convinced that only mere minutes had passed since their call, but when he slowly looked up and narrowed his eyes to focus on whoever was running towards him, he realized that at some point he must have lost track of time.

Kaoru felt his chest tighten when he finally crossed Rei's gaze as he knelt in front of him. He smiled when he noticed Rei's training suit and his slightly messy hair, but when Kaoru spoke, his voice lacked its usual jovial tone.

“Hey... you're a mess...” Kaoru coughed a few times, feeling the burning in his throat worsen. He smiled again nonetheless. “Your fans will cry if they see you like this...”

“Kaoru-kun, what-” Rei frowned and quickly looked him over, trying to figure out what had happened by himself, but it became clear that he wasn't his usual collected self the moment Rei unconsciously raised his hand to wipe the sweat off Kaoru's reddened face with his sleeve.

Hard to say who was taken more by surprise when Kaoru, wide-eyed and breathing rapidly, abruptly shook Rei's hand off.

Rei froze, but before he could even react, Kaoru reached out and grabbed the front of his t-shirt, realizing what he had done.

“S-sorry, I- I didn't mean to-” Kaoru stuttered and stared at him, almost unable to think. He blinked back tears as he felt the lump in his throat taking his breath away and his chest slowly starting to ache painfully again.

“Kaoru-kun, you have to relax.” Rei rested both his hands on Kaoru's shoulders, squeezing lightly. “I'm here, okay? You're not alone now. Look at me, Kaoru-kun.” A whisper, an attempt to calm him down, even if only a little bit. “Come on, look at me... now, tell me what happened. Slowly, don't force yourself.”

Kaoru held his breath, when he felt a tear running down his cheek. After spending so many hours pretending to be a different person, he was more than happy to have someone he could be himself with by his side.

“I... have no idea...” Kaoru wiped the tears from his face and rubbed his reddened eyes, slowly shifting to sit cross-legged with hesitating movements, as if every single gesture was too much work for him. He tried to clear his throat, but his voice still sounded rough when he spoke again. “I suddenly started to feel dizzy... I thought I was just tired, but it got worse, then I started feeling hot... the nausea, the chills... I panicked, and-” He clenched his fists. “I don't know... I- really, I don't know, Rei-kun. I'm sorry, I called you here without thinking, maybe I shouldn't have done it...”

Rei smiled softly at him. “Kaoru-kun, always talking nonsense. How many times do I have to tell you that you can always count on me? If it's for you, I would cross the entire country without a second thought.”

The muffled laugh that escaped Kaoru's lips was the most enjoyable sound Rei had ever heard, especially that night.

“Rei-kun, I'll end up falling for you if you keep saying stuff like that... and then my fans will hate you~” Not quite Kaoru's usual sing-song voice, but his tone sounded a bit lighter and more cheerful.

“Depriving your fans of your presence would be selfish of me. Kaoru-kun has always been in love with love itself, bestowing it upon others indiscriminately.” An embarrassed chuckle.

Kaoru forced himself to smile, but it was strained. “Rei-kun, please, if you use such difficult words, my headache will come back...”

Rei narrowed his eyes. Although his smile didn't falter and his hands didn't move from Kaoru's shoulders, there was a concerned note in his voice when he chuckled again and whispered.

“Forgive me, Kaoru-kun. I don't want to make you feel worse. I just wanted to say that you've always been in love with your fans, that's all.”

“Yeah... and they would hate me too if they saw me like this... I can't wait to get out of here. I need a shower and I...” For the first time, Kaoru looked down and sighed. He frowned, taking a deep breath as he closed his eyes. “...I want to go home. I'm tired.” He just wanted to forget everything, _for now_. He wanted to stop thinking about that damn elevator, about that man, about whatever had happened to him that night. He still felt awful, and he didn't know how long he could keep going like that. Rei was clearly concerned about his conditions, but he was too tired, too uncertain about what to say, what to think, to be able to actually talk about-

“...did you ingest something strange, Kaoru-kun?”

Kaoru's train of thought halted and he slowly looked up at Rei. He was about to laugh, to ask him if he had gone crazy for making such an assumption, but when he noticed the seriousness on his face... well, that was probably the coup de grace that crushed his already fragile attempts to maintain his composure.

“What... what are you...?”

“Your eyes are puffy and bloodshot. Dizziness, nausea, sweating, anxiety. You're squinting as if you can't focus. These symptoms...” Rei sighed and freed Kaoru from his grip, although with some reluctance. “I won't get mad, but I need to know. Did you ingest something?”

“Do you... do you think I could do something like that?” The hurt and disappointment in Kaoru's eyes when he slowly shook his head in disbelief was something Rei would never forget.

“I trust you, Kaoru-kun, more than anyone. I needed to ask, but I know you would never lie to me, so… if you say you took nothing, then it must be the truth.”

Rei's words should have been enough to calm him down, and yet, once again, Kaoru felt the anxiety that he had managed to keep under control until that moment overwhelm him. Blood roared in his ears as his heartbeat increased, and his voice trembled when he clenched his fists and stared back at Rei.

“Why... why would I take drugs!? I would never do that, I would never do anything that could harm us, let alone something illegal as that! It was a stupid party that I had to attend because of my father, I didn't even want to be here, I haven't eaten or dr-”

Out of the blue, realisation struck Kaoru. At the same time, a dark look crossed Rei's serious expression, but before he could ask anything, Kaoru met his eyes, looking... terrified.

“T-there was a guy... he offered me a drink, he was-” Kaoru's eyes widened again as he started searching for something in his jacket's pocket. “It was here... I put it here, his business card, he- the drink- I started feeling unwell after drinking it, and-” Panic took over when he couldn't find what he was looking for, but he didn't stop searching... at least until Rei grabbed him by the shoulders to make him look up at him.

“Kaoru-kun...!” Never once had Rei's voice sounded so nervous, but it was only for a split second, before it lowered into a whisper. “...what happened?”

The moment their eyes locked was when Kaoru felt something bloom inside himself. He was no longer scared, he no longer felt powerless... he was angry, and disgusted.

“I got into the elevator because I wanted to get out of there and that man followed me. We got stuck inside, and...” Kaoru put a hand over his mouth when he felt the nausea rise again. Saying it out loud made everything more real than it already was. And yet, the more he talked, the more his chest lightened. “He kissed me, and touched me. I tried fighting back, but I couldn't even stand up, I didn't have the strength to do it, so he just... did whatever he wanted, until the elevator doors opened and I ran away...”

Rei's deadpan expression didn't falter, but the grip on Kaoru's shoulders tightened imperceptibly. With much more difficulty than before, he forced himself to smile. “I promise I'll find this man. He will get what he deserves. What he did to you is unforgivable.” The tone of his voice didn't match his smile. “I'll do whatever it takes to make it happen.”

“No!” Kaoru grabbed Rei's t-shirt. He looked at him with a renewed resolve, realizing that his vision wasn't blurry anymore.

“Kaoru-kun...” Rei lowered his hands. Like a crack in a mask, his calmness wavered. “You can't ask me to ignore something like this.”

“I would never ask you to do something like that, Rei-kun! I want to make him pay too, I don't even know what I would do if I had him here right now, but... don't shut me out. Don't do everything by yourself, please!”

Rei frowned, then took a deep breath. Silence filled the gap between them for a few seconds. “I won't shut you out. I can't do it if you look at me with such earnest eyes, but I don't want to make you relive unpleasant memories, so please, Kaoru-kun. If it becomes too much for you, promise me you'll tell me about it... like you did tonight.”

Kaoru smiled heartily for the first time since Rei had arrived before reaching out his hands. “I will, I promise... but now, will you help me? I've been sitting here for so long that I don't even know if I'm able to stand anymore...”

Rei's eyes rested on Kaoru's hands, then searched for his gaze again as if he was implicitly asking for permission to touch him. Noticing that gesture, Kaoru gave Rei an apologetic smile and nodded. That seemed more than enough to make Rei smile back as he helped Kaoru stand up, putting an arm around his waist to support him as soon as he noticed Kaoru was leaning with one hand against the wall.

“Aaah~” Kaoru circled Rei's neck with his arm, laughing when his burning skin came in contact with Rei's cool body. “This feels nice~”

Rei snorted, letting out an embarrassed chuckle. “Perhaps Kaoru-kun would like to wait a few more minutes before going...?”

“Absolutely not, I would kill to get out of here as soon as possible. Really, really~” Despite his joke, Kaoru's voice was anything but cheerful as he coughed because of the tickle in his throat.

“There's a taxi waiting for us up the street. Let's go home, Kaoru-kun.”

Kaoru pushed his hair back from his sweaty forehead before taking a few faltering steps, and only when he was sure that the dizziness was gone, he freed Rei from his grip.

“Okay, I can walk... thanks, Rei-kun.”

“Are you sure?” Rei asked, still supporting Kaoru by his waist. “You shouldn't force yourself. I can take you to the taxi, it's no bother. I could carry you, if needed.”

Just thinking about such a scenario made Kaoru flush heavily.

“Rei-kun...” Kaoru glanced at him as his shoulders shook slightly with laughter. “You're the only person I know who could seriously say something like that without flinching...” In a more confident voice he added, “We should avoid attracting more attention than necessary, don't you think?”

“As of right now, Kaoru-kun's health is worth a lot more than anything else. But if you assure me that you can do it, then I'll respect your choice.” Having said that, Rei slowly pulled his arm away from Kaoru's waist. He didn't, however, move away from him as Kaoru took a few steps while holding onto the wall. Only when Kaoru nodded and smiled at him, they both headed towards the main street.

\- - - - -

“That man...” Kaoru leaned against Rei's arm, sliding a bit down the backseat. He stared at his tie as he wrapped it around the now half-empty water bottle Rei had bought him before getting into the taxi, his gaze unfocused. “I should have asked for his name, but he kept talking and talking and then he gave me his business card... it completely slipped my mind. But I'm sure he told me a lot of bullshit, and I can bet that the agency he said he worked for doesn't even exist.”

“From what you've told me, I doubt he was well meaning from the beginning.” Rei whispered so that the driver couldn't hear them, although the man, with his earbuds on, seemed far too busy having a heated conversation with someone else to actually pay any attention to them. “He planned everything the moment he approached you... even before that, if I have to hazard a guess. He probably gave you his business card knowing he was going to take it back somehow.”

Kaoru unconsciously squeezed the bottle, loosening his grip soon after when he realized what he did. “I was foolish, I shouldn't have accepted that drink.”

“Don't blame yourself, you did nothing wrong.” Rei didn't move, since Kaoru seemed to feel at ease being so close to him, but he still glanced at him. “Do you remember anything about that man? Something about him that could help us track him down?”

“Nothing out of the ordinary. I'd recognize him if he were standing in front of me, but...” Kaoru frowned, trying his best to remember any possible detail. “...he was... too normal?”

“I'll figure something out, then.” Rei immediately corrected himself. “ _We_ 'll find him.”

Kaoru looked up at Rei, meeting his eyes. On any other occasion, he would have made some kind of joke about their closeness, but he'd had a hell of a night and he didn't have the strength to do it, especially after what Rei had done for him. That's why he just stayed there, not even wondering why he didn't mind being so close to Rei, why being next to him was making him feel so... safe.

“When...” A faint whisper. “When you asked me if I had ingested something, I'm sorry I reacted that way... I lashed out, but you still had the patience to calm me down, so... thank you. I probably wouldn't have known what to do without you.”

Rei looked back at him with narrowed eyes, as if he was pondering about what to say... or perhaps he was just lost in his thoughts. “Considering the conditions you were in, I shouldn't have asked you something like that out of the blue. I wasn't thinking about your well-being, I just wanted answers. It isn't like me at all, and that's why I apologize. Moreover, you don't have to thank me. As I always say, I would do whatever I can to help you, Koga or Adonis-kun.”

“Could you accept my thanks without arguing, for once?” Kaoru laughed, but his smile didn't reach his eyes, his grip tightening on the bottle for the umpteenth time. It was as if having something to keep his hands busy was helping him let off steam and get his thoughts in order. “I'm serious, I don't know what I would have done. I... I've never felt so vulnerable. I'm used to pretending that everything is fine, to smile when necessary, but I wasn't able to do it this time and that was... scary. I can't believe there are people willing to do something like that for personal pleasure.” Kaoru took a deep breath, then searched for Rei's eyes once again. As he smiled, embarrassment shot up his cheeks. “Just... accept my thanks, okay? They are very rare, as you may know~”

For a brief instant Rei's eyes widened, but he looked away soon after. He propped his elbow on the car door and rested his chin on his hand. “It's true, they're very rare, that's why I'm grateful I've been able to receive them.”

That instant, however, didn't go unnoticed: as he rested his arm on the back of the seat and tilted his head a bit, Kaoru widened his eyes as well and hummed a cheerful tune, fully turning towards Rei.

“Rei-kun, could it be that you are embarrassed~?”

Rei looked at him with a stoic expression, as if he wanted to prove otherwise. “Good guys don't make fun of people, Kaoru-kun.”

“But I never said I was a good guy~ ♪” An amused grin flashed on Kaoru's face.

Unable to control his reactions, Rei abruptly blushed and frowned. For a moment he didn't reply, limiting himself to returning Kaoru's stare, then he sighed softly and slowly shook his head. “Kaoru-kun has no mercy...”

“It's not every day that I get the opportunity to make fun of you like this, Rei-kun~ Wan-chan will get suuuuper jealous if I tell him!”

Kaoru's laughter echoed in the taxi, to the point that even the driver looked at them from the rear-view mirror. They excused themselves and lowered their voices, but Kaoru continued teasing Rei until they reached Seisou Hall. Making fun of him almost made him forget the events of that night...  _almost_ , because despite everything, he never once loosened his grip on the bottle.

\- - - - -

When Kaoru arrived to his room all the lights were already off, but he probably would have been surprised of the contrary, since it was already half past one in the morning. Nagisa was sleeping peacefully, while Yuuta muttered something in his sleep as he turned over. Luckily, neither of them seemed to notice when Kaoru closed the door behind himself.

Trying not to make a sound, Kaoru got into the bathroom and started to undress, avoiding the mirror when he walked by it. He turned the water on as soon as he entered the shower, jolting when he felt the cold jet hit his skin. He then closed his eyes and tilted his head back, pushing his hair away from his face with both hands.

After that brief moment of peace, Kaoru opened his eyes again. Slowly, he leaned his forehead against the wall and brought a hand to his lips. His fingers ghosted down his neck, his shoulder, before reaching his stomach. Only then he frowned and clenched his other hand to hit the wall with his fist, feeling his chest tighten and his heart beating louder.

His shoulders started trembling slightly as his mind went back to what happened in that elevator.


	6. Sturm 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No warnings for this chapter ♥

“Wan-chan, you bully... I'm your senpai, you should treat me more kindly~” Lying on the floor of the training room, Kaoru wiped his face with his towel before spreading his arms, sighing deeply.

Koga looked sideways at Kaoru, crossing his legs as he sat in front of him. He thanked Adonis when he offered him a water bottle, drinking plenty of it before clicking his tongue in annoyance. “I'll do it when you'll start gettin' serious once and for all! What, have you spent so many nights with Sakuma-senpai that you can't even hear a fuckin' alarm clock now? Are you slippin' back into your bad habits!?”

“Ahhh~ Are you saying that I'm not taking my job seriously? You'll make me cry!” Kaoru smiled despite his words. “I already apologized! It's not my fault if I overslept! Come on, Wan-chan, forgive me~”

“Kaoru-kun is trying his best to make up for being late, there's no need to be so angry.” Rei approached them, looking down at Koga. “It can happen to anyone. We are human beings, and as such, we often make mistakes.”

“Yes, yes! Exactly! ♪” Kaoru sat up, humming gleefully as he nodded. “Tell him, Rei-kun~”

“Stop spoilin' him, Sakuma-senpai!” Koga growled, pointing towards Kaoru without averting his attention from Rei. “You're too indulgent with him!”

“Ogami, how many times has Sakuma-senpai been overindulgent with all of us during last year? He's right, there's no need to be so angry, and I'm sure Hakaze-senpai didn't mean to do it.” Adonis emptied his water bottle in one gulp before putting it down on the floor. He wiped the sweat off his face with his own t-shirt and moved to stand next to Rei, shifting his gaze between his friends.

“Indeed, I must admit that it's a weakness of mine. I just care too much about all of you.” Rei covered his mouth with his hand to stifle a chuckle, but his smile was still there when he crossed his arms over his chest. “Moreover, I think we should set aside such bickering in favour of this day. It's been quite difficult to adjust our schedules so that we could spend some time together.”

“Well, there's nothin' we can do if you two are so busy.” Koga raised his knee to rest his arm on it. “I mean, good for you? Every job helps you gain popularity, so-” Something seemed to flash into his mind, and he wrinkled his nose. “...not that I approve of that fuckin' photoshoot you've done.”

Adonis frowned. “Are you still not over it, Ogami?”

“Don't mind him, Adonis-kun, Wan-chan is jealous ♪”

“AH!? Jealous!? As if! That's bad publicity for us UNDEAD, people will think we're just a bunch of pretty faces and nothin' more! Have any of you read the comments at least!?” Koga stood up and went to take his phone out of his bag. When he got back to them, he immediately handed it to Kaoru. “Read for yourself, Hakaze-senpai!”

His and Rei's photos were in full display on the magazine's official website, and the comments under every single one of them were too many to count.

“ _I've always been their fan_. Hm hm~ _I didn't know them, but I'll follow them from now on._ Good~ Oh, this comment is just a line of emojis, it must be from a cutie, I'm sure of it~ And this one? _I'm already in love and I can't wait to buy the magazine_. The chief editor will be happy!” Kaoru kept scrolling, reading aloud, until he looked up at Koga with the most angelic expression he could master. “Well, where's the problem?”

“Are you fuckin' kiddin' me!?” Koga narrowed his eyes into a murderous glare and leaned closer to Kaoru with clenched fists.

“I was joking!!” Kaoru raised his hands in surrender, but he couldn't suppress a laugh.

“Ogami, you should have more faith in our senpais. They already said those photos won't be a problem.” Adonis paused for a moment, resting his hands on his hips. “If these fans have discovered UNDEAD because of our senpais, then it's our job to do our best on stage and show them who we really are.”

Koga took his phone as soon as Kaoru handed it back, slightly tilting his chin up and grinning. “There's no need to say somethin' stupid like that! We'll make them understand who UNDEAD really are, Adonis!”

A gentle smile curved both Kaoru and Rei's lips, but before they could say anything, a loud knock on the door caught everyone's attention.

Without awaiting a response, Keito entered the room with a bundle of documents under his arm, and gave them a little bow out of politeness. His eyes met Rei's as he noticed him approaching.

“Good evening, Hasumi-kun. To what do we owe this visit? Do you need me for something business related? If so, if it's not urgent, I would ask you to wait until the end of our training session.”

Keito adjusted his glasses. He had a strange expression on his face, as if not even him knew the reason why he was there. “Actually, I'm not here for you, Sakuma. I was looking for Hakaze.”

Kaoru frowned, standing up to join the two in front of the door. “Why are you looking for me, Hasumi-kun?”

“Eichi wants to talk to you about something, so he asked me to come and get you. I know you're in the middle of a training session, but it sounded important.”

As if he'd instantly figured out the reason behind that call, Rei turned towards Kaoru and nodded. “Go. It would be best to hear what Tenshouin-kun has to say.”

“Wait a minute, what's goin' on?” Koga moved quickly to approach them. “Hakaze-senpai, what the hell have you done this time?”

“Is Wan-chan worried about me? ♪” Kaoru tried to ruffle his hair, but Koga battled his hand away so abruptly that it made him chuckle. “Don't worry, I'll be right back. Hasumi-kun, lead the way~”

And yet, despite his nonchalant words, Kaoru had the feeling that it was going to be a long conversation, and especially not a pleasant one.

\- - - - -

Kaoru knocked on the door and peeked in without preamble, well aware that waiting would have merely delayed the inevitable. “Hello~ ♪ Good evening, Tenshouin-kun, may I come in?”

Eichi was leaning back against his desk. He was reading a document with a grim expression, and he was so focused on it that for a moment he didn't even hear Kaoru's voice, but as soon as the door opened and he looked up, he gave him one of his polite smiles.

“Hakaze-kun, good evening. Come in, have a seat.” Eichi silently thanked Keito with a nod of the head, gesturing to him that he could go before turning his attention back to Kaoru. “It's been a long time since we had the opportunity to talk, but please, make yourself comfortable. We are former classmates, after all.”

Kaoru looked around Eichi's office, almost disinterestedly, before sitting in one of the armchairs in front of the desk. “Well, we never really talked except for a few times? I used to skip classes a lot and you were always busy.”

“Indeed. Even if it hasn't been that long, our priorities have changed, though. Every Yumenosaki's student was a seed struggling for survival in a garden tailor-made for idols, and that garden needed someone who could take care of it to prevent its flowers and fruits to wither, or worse. Weeds could have grown, parasites could have damaged the results of all the hard work that went into creating that luxuriant paradise.” Instead of sitting at his desk, Eichi sat in the other armchair, next to Kaoru. “But like many others, you're no longer a seed, Hakaze-kun. You've built your own ecosystem and you're now working hard to protect your own little paradise. Am I wrong?”

Kaoru snorted a smile. “What's your and Rei-kun's problem with making big speeches?”

“Fufu. If Sakuma-kun didn't have a way with words, it wouldn't be fun to have conversations with him. I want my challenger to entertain me, otherwise it becomes a mere game in which the stronger crushes the weaker. That isn't rivalry, but a waste of time. Anyway, Hakaze-kun...” Eichi crossed his legs, leaning back on the armchair with his hands in his lap. “Thank you for getting straight to the point, albeit unintentionally. As you said, I'm quite a busy person, and I suppose you too don't have the time to enjoy a friendly chat just for the sake of it.”

“Hm, right, our puppy will probably start barking if I don't come back soon~” Kaoru's voice didn't falter despite his joke, too focused on hiding the sense of anguish he was feeling. He didn't know if Rei had told Eichi about what had happened a few days ago at his father's party, or if the incident had reached Eichi's ears in some other way, but Kaoru couldn't think about anything else that could have put him in that position. Neither option sounded ideal, the latter less than the former for obvious reasons. He certainly would have preferred his personal business to remain so.

“You are aware that I share a dorm room with Sakuma-kun and Shiratori-kun. As you can imagine, with such an arrangement, it's not difficult to notice eventual changes in someone's attitude. When the docile cat you're used to having at your side suddenly fluffs out his fur and starts hissing, you can't help but wonder what could have happened to make him upset, you know?”

That wasn't exactly what Kaoru had expected to hear, so he looked at Eichi with a puzzled frown.

“Wait... are you telling me you haven't noticed anything different in Sakuma-kun?” Eichi frowned as well. “This is unexpected. I thought you knew something, but I guess I was wrong? Although I doubt you really don't know anything, since you're the closest person to him.”

Kaoru leaned forward, resting his arms on his legs and folding his hands together, trying his best to look relaxed as he reflected on Eichi's words. Of course he'd noticed that Rei had been acting strange, it would have been weirder if he wasn't, after everything they'd been through. It had been days since that night and Kaoru could still perfectly remember the intensity of Rei's gaze in that alley, how difficult it had been for him to agree not to act out on his own. It was clear that Rei didn't agree with his decision, but Kaoru really needed time to come to terms with it before having a real talk about it. And plus, his bad sleeping schedule didn't help him a bit either. He was awake during the night and couldn't even sleep during the day, ending up brooding silently for hours instead of resting, so he really wasn't in the mood to listen to a lecture.

Kaoru sighed. “Something happened a few days ago, at a party I attended for family reasons. Tenshouin-kun knows that disagreements are not uncommon during such business meetings. Rei-kun caught up with me where the party was held to be sure everything was okay.” It wasn't entirely a lie... more like an omission of information. “I think my state of mind affected him too. I'm sorry if it troubled you, Tenshouin-kun, my family problems shouldn't interfere with our work. It won't happen again.”

“I see. I had already figured it was because of you, since Sakuma-kun was messaging you before he disappeared, but the way he rushed out of the room made me wonder. He is ready to die to help his loved ones, but I don't think I'd ever seen him so anxious about someone before.”

“Tenshouin-kun, you make it sound like Rei-kun is in love with me or something.” Kaoru laughed, his cheeks a bit flushed.

“I think there's been a misunderstanding.” Eichi chuckled. “My intentions are anything but altruistic. I'm not telling you these things because I'm interested in your personal affairs. Being so close to Sakuma-kun, you probably already know everything about Ensemble Square's current situation. It's my duty as StarPro's representative to do my utmost to protect ES, even if it means being sceptical about whether or not people are telling me the truth. That is why I can't say that I'm entirely convinced by your story.” He gave Kaoru an inquiring look. “Let me tell you this, Hakaze-kun. There's too much going on, and I don't believe in coincidences. Unfortunately, I know that I won't get any answer from Sakuma-kun, that's why I called you here. It's fine if you don't want to tell me, but if you're involved in something sketchy, don't hesitate to speak with someone in charge. Think twice before dragging other people down with you, UNDEAD.”

Kaoru's smile didn't falter. It was like walking through a minefield, he knew he had to weigh every single word if he wanted to avoid irreparable damage, and that is why he didn't avert his eyes from Eichi's, as if he wanted to prove him that he had nothing to hide. “I'll make sure to inform you if something that could cause trouble to ES happens, but... it's really just a private matter, for now. Anyway, I'll talk to Rei-kun if that would make you feel better, Tenshouin-kun.”

“He's a great idol and a capable rival, but my interest doesn't lie in Sakuma-kun's concern towards you, Hakaze-kun. As I already said, your personal affairs are none of my business as long as they don't cause trouble to ES.”

“Good~ ♪ Then there's nothing more to talk about.” Kaoru stood up and stretched his arms behind his back, before absently waving goodbye to Eichi as he walked towards the door. “Ah, but... there is something that could be of some interest to you.” His hand was already on the doorknob when he glanced back at Eichi. “I don't know if it will be helpful information, but there were some people talking about Ensemble Square at my father's party... people I've never seen before. I obviously don't know ES' affiliates, so I minded my own business. Since you don't believe in coincidences, maybe it would be good to have a look at the guest list.”

For a moment Eichi didn't reply, staring straight into Kaoru's eyes as he thought about his suggestion. “Might as well try. Even a firefly can become a beacon of light in the darkness. Thank you, Hakaze-kun. I'm sorry I took up your time, have a nice evening.”

“Thanks, you too~ For everyone's sake, I hope you'll find a solution as soon as possible, Tenshouin-kun~ Bye bye ♪”

Kaoru sighed deeply the moment he closed the door behind himself. He didn't even wait a second before quickly walking away, he just wanted to be as far away as possible from that office before Eichi could feel the need to ask him some more questions. Not that he wasn't happy about the interest he'd shown, and Eichi's concern regarding ES's situation was more than justified, but... it was already difficult to admit to himself that he had been the victim of an assault, so he still didn't feel comfortable with the idea of letting other people know about it. Not to mention that Kaoru hadn't entirely lied. He didn't know if that man was connected to the blackmailing or if he was just insane. Maybe both. Maybe neither. He knew nothing about him, and he certainly couldn't assume anything without some proof. That was why he had at least told Eichi to take a look at the guest list, if possible. It would have benefited everyone if he'd found something about that man.

“...” Kaoru folded his hands behind his neck and looked down, slowing his pace.

Was Rei really acting that strange? He sure had been more thoughtful than usual towards Kaoru.

_I don't think I’d ever seen him so anxious about someone before_ , Eichi had said.

Well, that was certainly something Kaoru agreed with.  
That fateful night, Rei had looked so... human? Not that Kaoru had ever believed any of his nonsense about being a vampire, but he'd never thought the day would come when he would get to see Rei fall victim of emotions such as fear, worry or panic... and yet, he had felt so happy and comfortable, being so close to him in that taxi.

Kaoru frowned, feeling the warmth on his face increase. Just thinking about it was enough to embarrass him like nothing else.


	7. Sturm 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go with ch7 ♥ No significant warning this time, just lot of dialogues, mention of a few character songs and a lot of events of (!)~  
> As always, we're really happy that you're enjoying this story. It's progressing slowly, but it wouldn't be a slow burn otherwise ♥

“Yahoo~ ♪ Good evening, I'm your one and only Hakaze Kaoru from UNDEAD, how are our lovely listeners? I hope everything's fine~”

“Good evening, with him is UNDEAD's Sakuma Rei. It's really a pleasure to be here again with all of you.”

“It's been a while since we've been in charge of Idol☆Hijack, right, Rei-kun? Who would have ever thought we'd come back for an hour-long special on Ensemble Square, the new face of the idol industry? I know I should feel honoured to be the spokesman of so many idols, but I can't help but being nervous! I have so many embarrassing stories to tell ♪”

“There's nothing to be nervous about, Kaoru-kun. Let's have a good time with our listeners. May this hour we'll spend together bring a smile to every single one of you~”

Kaoru glanced at Rei, stifling a laugh. “Rei-kun, stop sounding seductive while saying something as innocent as that, you'll capture the heart of my fans!”

“Kukuku. I guess we'll leave the choice to them. Today we'll read several mails from our listeners, maybe they'll tell us if I really captured their heart. What do you expect, Kaoru-kun?”

“I don't know, but I can't wait to find out! But first, I'm happy to announce that today we have been given permission to keep you company with an awesome playlist of all your favourite units' songs! For the first round of questions, we have _Dance in the Apocalypse_ by Eden and _Cherry Happy Stream_ by Trickstar, followed by... wait, wasn't it supposed to be one of our songs? Or are we saving the best for last ♪?”

“We certainly don't want to monopolize this radio program, Kaoru-kun. Today we are here as guests, and as such we should focus on our fans' curiosities. That's why our listeners shouldn't forget to use the official hashtag of this show if they want their messages to be read.”

“And don't forget that this episode will be available on the official website starting tomorrow.” Kaoru lowered his voice and smiled. “When you feel alone, I'll be right there to keep you company~ ♡”

Rei covered his mouth with a hand and chuckled, paying extra attention to avoid being heard. When he looked at Kaoru, he was visibly amused. “Don't you think it would be best to start? I'm sure your fans are eagerly waiting to hear your stories.”

“Of course!” Kaoru returned to his usual playful, cheery self. “The staff is already sorting the fan mails. Many thanks~ Let's see, let's see. I think we can start with this question for you, Rei-kun.”

> _Good evening, I've been a huge fan of Sakuma-san for a long time and when I found out he had a brother I instantly started listening to Knights' songs. Now I love them! Will there ever be a collaboration between Knights and UNDEAD?_

“I shouldn't be happy that our fans are taking an interest in other units, right? Well, this is an exception.” Rei let out an affectionate laugh. “Correct me if I'm wrong, Kaoru-kun, but I don't think we ever took a collaboration with Knights into consideration.”

Kaoru leaned against the desk and rested his chin on his hand, frowning. “Mh, apart from that time at the ice rink, when we had a photo shoot with them... no, I don't think so.”

“Our image doesn't really fit Knights' chivalry, but if the opportunity arises... who knows? I would certainly love to work with my little brother~ Ritsuuuuu~ Onii-chan is looking forward to working with you!! ♪”

“Rei-kun, you know that your brother doesn't like such shameless displays of affection~” To say the least, Kaoru thought.

“But I can't hide my feelings, my heart is full of joy every time I think about my little brother~ Anyway, next message. Oh, this is a question I actually expected to receive sooner or later. It's for both of us.”

> _Sakuma-san, Hakaze-san, good evening. Sorry for the inappropriate question, but I was wondering... what is your dream girl like?_

“My dream girl? Hmmh~” Kaoru waited a bit before answering, tapping his fingers on the desk while thinking. “I don't think I have one. I feel like if I dwell too much on a type, I might regret it in the future ♡ But I'm sure many of you won't be satisfied with my answer, so... I'll just say that I have a soft spot for those who are able to make me smile.”

“An answer that really suits you.” Rei chuckled.

“Don't make fun of me. What about you?”

“Me? Hmm, I'm afraid my answer won't be so straightforward. I'd like to have someone who can really understand me by my side. Someone capable of turning me into ashes with their brightness and charm. To those who are listening to us right now... could it be you're the person I'm looking for?” Rei whispered in an alluring voice.

Kaoru gave Rei a sideway glance, looking at him in astonishment for an instant before his amusement got the best of him. “An answer that really suits you.” He mocked Rei, making him laugh in response.

“You should practice what you preach, Kaoru-kun, and stop making fun of your partner.”

“Speaking of making fun of others... an interesting message just arrived. You're certainly the best person who can satisfy this listener's request!”

> _Good evening!! I was wondering if you could tell us some funny stories about Akatsuki's members? Hasumi-san in particular, he's always so serious!  
> _ _PS: I really really love UNDEAD, keep up the good work!_

“Oh my... I have a lot of stories I could tell. After all, Hasumi-kun and I have known each other since we were kids, but I'm sure he would scold me if I did. However, it would also be rude to not answer a question from one of our lovely listeners, so I think Hasumi-kun will forgive me for telling the most innocent story of them all. It happened when we first met... he got so scared when he saw me that he started screaming and he fell to the ground. Kaoru-kun, am I really that scary?”

Kaoru burst out laughing without even trying to restrain himself. “Rei-kun, you do realize that you've just destroyed Hasumi-kun's image, don't you?”

“Why? We were innocent children, and I always made fun of him for that story, it's no secret. But truth is, Hasumi-kun is a very dear friend for me. Many times we've grown apart and then got close again, but I promised myself that I wouldn't make the same mistake again. I care about him, as a friend and as a colleague. But Kaoru-kun, you too have an acquaintance among Akatsuki, don't you?”

“You're right. During our time at Yumenosaki, I was in the same club as Souma-kyu- I mean, Souma-kun, although we didn't really get along well. He will never admit it, but we are on good terms now~ Koga-kun and Adonis-kun can count on each other even after we graduated, but Souma-kun is alone without Hasumi-kun and Kiryu-kun. It won't be easy for him to shoulder Akatsuki's name, that's why I'm rooting for him~”

“Speaking of Kiryu-kun, his personality and skills perfectly balance their unit. Akatsuki really needs someone like him... no, actually, all three of them are irreplaceable. Akatsuki wouldn't even exist if one of them was missing.”

“Right, right~ Then, how about we leave our listeners with one of their songs, Rei-kun?”

“You already know which one, don't you?”

“Obviously!” Kaoru's lips curved into a dazzling smile. “To honour promises that will never fade, this is _Hana Akari no Koibumi_ by Akatsuki. We'll be right back after the break ♡”

Rei took off his headphones, waiting for the broadcast light to turn off to take a deep breath and relax. He then turned towards Kaoru, leaning against the desk with his elbow to rest his cheek on his palm. “You know, Kaoru-kun, the way you entertain your fans, whether they are our audience in live performances or listeners during radio programs like this one... you're really amazing.”

Kaoru looked at him from the corner of his eye as he took a sip of his water, and when he lowered the bottle there was a satisfied smirk on his face. “There's always room for one more fan, Rei-kun~”

“How many times do I have to tell you that I've been your fan from the very first moment I set my eyes on you~?” Rei hummed happily without averting his gaze from Kaoru.

Kaoru snorted, fighting an embarrassed smile. “Stop praising me? I didn't even want to show up for our classes and I used to make up any possible excuse to avoid them!”

“But I never stopped believing in you, Kaoru-kun.”

Kaoru didn't realize he was holding his breath until he let it out with a soft sigh, a frown forming on his face. Would he be where he was now, if it hadn't been for Rei? Probably not. He would have never realized how much he loved being an idol, how much he cared for what they were slowly creating together. He really owed him a lot; for always being at his side, for always cheering him up when needed it.

“Yeah, you never did...” Kaoru whispered, noticing the staff gesturing to tell them that they only had thirty seconds before going back on air. He didn't avert his eyes from Rei's as he smiled, although he couldn't stop his blush. He wanted to let him know that he was grateful to him, even though he'd never had the courage to say it aloud because of his stupid pride. “...that's why I couldn't have asked for a better person to have by my side, Rei-kun.”

Rei's eyes grew wide as he stared at him with an incredulous expression, but what really made Kaoru burst out laughing was seeing him put on his headphones in a hurry because he hadn't noticed they were already going live.

“Welcome back to Idol☆Hijack, are you having fun? Yes? Good, because this is just the beginning~” Kaoru's voice brimmed with amusement.

\- - - - -

Kaoru was trying his best, but the more fan mail they read, the more difficult it was to hold back his laughter. The show's hashtag had been buried with requests for other embarrassing stories, and he really had fun delivering them, but both him and Rei had wondered whether it was going to be safe for them to go back to their dormitory after this, or if their friends were going to kill them on sight as soon as they set foot in Seisou Hall.

What really was testing Kaoru's professionalism, however, was the last question he had yet to answer, which had really caught him off guard.

“There's a memory of our years at Yumenosaki which I'm very fond of... but I don't know if it really counts, since we weren't exactly in school? Last year, during summer break, we went on this island together with _fine_ 's members for a joint training session-”

“Oh, that vacation.” Rei giggled, but he failed to hide the nervousness in his voice.

“We UNDEAD decided to spend our last day exploring this deserted island Tenshouin-kun told us about. Long story short, our ship sank and we were stuck there.”

“Kukuku. You make it sound like we were being reckless.”

Kaoru turned towards Rei, lowering his voice to a mere whisper against the mic. “Rei-kun... it really was a crazy idea. I didn't even want to go there!”

“Indeed, but perhaps we could blame our naive and young selves? Although it only happened last year~”

Kaoru cleared his throat. “We had a bit of trouble lighting a fire and searching for food, and when Koga-kun's puppy, Leon, disappeared...? I would rather forget everything about it! But there was a moment... a memory I'll never want to forget.”

“I guess there is no way I can dissuade you from telling it.” Rei sighed, slightly embarrassed.

“I could never deprive them of this story~ Getting to it, while me, Koga-kun and Adonis-kun were exploring the island, I stumbled upon a cave. I naively thought it would be a perfect shelter from the sun for Rei-kun, so I told him about it and took him there, and... sorry.” Kaoru took a deep breath, his shoulders shaking from the effort of holding back his laughter. “Well, this cave was full of bats and as soon as Rei-kun entered, they all flew at him. He had tears in his eyes and I had to take him by the hand to get him out, since he didn't know where he was going! It's the funniest memory I have from last summer ♪”

“I don't know if I'm happy that Kaoru-kun considers it a funny memory...”

Kaoru didn't reply, but he stuck his tongue out at Rei in a mischievous way.

“I suppose it's my turn to tell a memory I'm fond of, but I'm afraid it won't be as fun as Kaoru-kun's.” Rei absently looked at the program's running order in his hand. “This story also dates back to last year. It was almost Christmas and I still had to decide what I would do after graduation. Let's say that I was conflicted between duty and desire.”

Kaoru's smile disappeared as his eyes grew wide. “Rei-kun... you don't want to tell  _that_ story, do you...?”

“Someone asked me, _So, you're going to do exactly what the adults or God decided for you without fighting back?_ ” Rei turned towards Kaoru with a smile. “I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for that person. That absurd question, asked in an almost careless way, changed my life, and it convinced me to do what I love the most in this world: being an idol.”

Kaoru barely refrained from speaking, unable to find the right words to reply in a suitable and professional way as heat crept across his face. Those events were etched in his mind, but he couldn't believe Rei really remembered his words.

Wasn't Rei feeling even the slightest embarrassment while talking about it? Judging from the way he looked at Kaoru and chuckled playfully, probably not.

“It's amazing how much power words can have, don't you think, Kaoru-kun? The difference one person can make...”

Kaoru hummed softly, nodding. “Well, we are idols, and as such we are going to make a difference in people's lives in many occasions.” He didn't even notice that his voice was lacking its usual cheerful note. For once, he was really speaking from his heart. “Our fans find comfort in our songs. We make them smile, cry, have fun, but we wouldn't be going anywhere without their love and support. We depend on each other. I think that's the beauty of being an idol ♪”

“You're right, and that's why we have to treasure every single one of our fans, Kaoru-kun.”

\- - - - -

Kaoru sank into the couch of the relaxing area and slid a bit along its back, letting himself be lulled by the last notes of  _Darkness 4_ coming from the studio. He greeted a woman from the staff passing by him, thanking her when she complimented him on their job since, apparently, the audience rating had been so high that they were surely going to do other specials like that one.

“Ahhh~ I'm tired.” Kaoru closed his eyes, enjoying his well-earned rest as he waited for Rei.

He still couldn't shake off his embarrassment. Between Rei's happiness remembering last winter's events, the hundreds of fan mails asking about their relationship that had followed and the many more questions regarding the photoshoot they had taken together, Kaoru didn't really know how he had been able to maintain his cool.

Was his and Rei's relationship that ambiguous when seen from the outside? Kaoru had really never thought about it. He liked spending time with his friends, and having Rei always by his side had become the norm. Leaving his senseless disgust towards guys behind had felt so good that he was trying his best to make up for lost time.

His phone's vibration woke him from his half-asleep state. He put a hand to his mouth and yawned, frowning when he retrieved his phone from his back pocket and noticed an anonymous message on Wholehands.

Time seemed to go backwards as his eyes laid on the screen, on the many photos and messages that started popping out one after the other without even giving him the time to realize what he was looking at. Only when the initial shock finally wore off, his mind went back to _that_ night.

Photos of him in the alley in pitiful conditions, others depicting Rei helping him, kneeling at his side, perhaps too close from the perspective of those photos. A couple of them had even been taken when they were getting into the taxi together. There were so many that Kaoru felt overwhelmed by them, holding his breath as he read the many messages.

> "Why did you act that way, Hakaze Kaoru-san?"  
> "Our man told you it wouldn't have been wise to overreact."  
> "You should have listened to him."  
> "Guess it's too late."  
> "Or maybe not?"  
> "Time to keep a secret if you don't want these photos to go public."  
> "Don't try getting smart with us."

The phone slipped from his hand and fell to the ground, and when Kaoru bent down to pick it up, he noticed that his hand was trembling just like it had been that night. He instinctively clenched his fist so hard that his nails dug into his palm, but the sudden pain also helped him clear his mind.

Before anyone could pass by him and notice all those photos and messages, Kaoru quickly picked his phone up and turned off the screen. He leaned forward on his legs, holding the phone tightly between his hands as his eyes rested on an undefined spot of the wall in front of him. He gulped, feeling the lump in his throat take his breath away. Without loosening the grip on his phone, he rested his forehead on his hands and parted his lips to take a deep breath, but only a strangled noise caused by panic filled the silence surrounding him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> c: *runs away
> 
> ATTENTION: We are currently up to speed with the chapters that have been already proof-read, so from now on the updates could slow down a bit (there are already 5 chapters translated anyway). Our beta helps us during her free-time, but she's very busy with her job at the moment!


	8. Sturm 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY FOR THE EXTREMELY LONG DELAY! Many things happened and we decided to take a break, but now we're here, with 3 HUGE WARNINGS for this chapter: Emotional Manipulation, Age Gap and Attempted Sexual Assault. Time for Kaoru to come to terms with everything that's happening.

Kaoru didn't exactly know when his life had taken such an abrupt turn, triggering all those events that had led him to that moment. He didn't know how to get out of it, or how to fight something he couldn't touch, something that hurt more than any physical injury. Waking up day after day with the fear of receiving another message or photo was slowly driving him crazy. He couldn't sleep well, and pretending that everything was fine in front of his friends was getting harder, just as it was getting hard to smile when someone recognized him on the street. He had the constant feeling of being observed, studied, photographed. It was a torture.

Kaoru had actually tried to tell someone. He was with Koga and Adonis when it happened, in Rhythm Link's office, waiting for Rei to finish attending a meeting so that they could talk about the live performance they had finally announced to the public. Their very first scheduled live performance, nothing like the improvised appearances they had always done. It was something everyone was thrilled about for obvious reasons, both Koga and Adonis were really looking forward to it, to the point that they hadn't been able to talk about anything else for days.

But that was also the reason why, in the end, Kaoru couldn't bring himself to ruin the moment. He had realized that telling them would have meant making them worry, risking those photos to go public, making them shoulder that burden as well. Telling them, or Rei, or even Eichi, would have meant collapsing under the weight of those threats and going against the messages that were seared into his brain.

Even worse, Kaoru was terrified by the idea of destroying what he and Rei had been slowly trying to build together. He absolutely didn't want to be the cause behind the end of Rei's career, not after everything he'd told him during the radio program; because there was no way that wouldn't happen, if what Kaoru had been through came to light. Just the thought of being the one who could take it away from Rei made him sick.

It was for this reason that Kaoru had decided to hold on and endure being discredited and accused of something he would have never done willingly. But his resolve had fallen apart when he'd started receiving photos taken by the hotel's security cameras: photos of him leaning against the wall, unable to stand up, walking into the elevator... and then he had seen  _those_ . The photos with that man, who had his back to the camera and therefore his face couldn't even be seen. Photos of him touching Kaoru, kissing him.

...after two whole weeks, Kaoru knew he was about to lose his mind.

“Kaoru-kun?”

“Hm?” Kaoru seemed to wake up from a trance when he turned towards Rei. The common room was deserted given the late hour, and the volume on the TV was so low that it only reached his ears as a mere background noise. “Did you say something?”

Rei leaned back against the couch and folded his hands in his lap as he answered in a low voice. “No, it's just… you always look pensive lately. Is something troubling you?”

A barely hinted smile curved Kaoru's lips. “I'm just tired. For some reason I haven't been able to sleep well lately.”

“I understand. If I can do anything for you, Kaoru-kun... tell me, okay?”

“...I know I can count on you, and I thank you for that.” Kaoru's smile grew bigger, even if just a bit. “Rei-kun is always by my side when I need him the most~”

Rei didn't say anything, but didn't avert his eyes from Kaoru's as he leaned against his shoulder, as if he wanted to let him know that  _yes_ , he would always be there for him if needed.

Genuinely surprised, Kaoru chuckled. From that night in the alley, Rei had been a comforting presence to have at his side, so he didn't really have any reason to push him away. That was why he leaned against Rei without a second thought, sighing softly as he closed his eyes, lulled by the silence around them.

Kaoru was sure Rei knew there was something he wasn't telling him, but he was grateful Rei didn't seem intent on asking him questions. It was no longer about not being able to talk about it; he was just sure that the moment he would open up, all the stress, fear and anger he had built up would pour out of him like a tidal wave. His act was already falling apart, but he knew that as long as he was able to force himself to smile, as long as he could endure it... his friends would be safe. He was willing to do anything to keep them out of that mess.

Actually, he already felt lucky enough to be able to count on Rei without him expecting anything in return. Not that taking advantage of his kindness made him happy. Kaoru knew he wasn't acting on everything he had always told Rei, about not shouldering everything on his own, but... he'd never thought it would be that difficult to speak up once he was at the heart of the problem. He could have never guessed that being cornered like that would have made him feel so helpless.

Kaoru took a deep breath and sighed heavily, trying to relax his shoulders. He slowly sank into the couch and without saying anything he laid down, resting his head on Rei's thigh as he hugged himself and closed his eyes. He felt Rei stiffen, but for once he decided there would be nothing wrong in going back to his past, selfish self.

“Sorry...” A barely audible whisper. “...bear with it for a while, okay?”

There was no response for some time, until Rei's hand rested softly on his shoulder. “Take all the time you need, Kaoru-kun.”

This time, Kaoru didn't even try to hide his uneasiness. “I'm sorry if I'm worrying you, but it's a temporary situation. I just have things on my mind. It will pass.” He really hoped so.

“It's true that I'm worried, Kaoru-kun rarely looks so lost in his thoughts. But if you say so, then I won't be a bother to you, in any way. All I want you to know is that I'll always be willing to listen to you, for as long as it takes.” In a lower voice, Rei added, “Your problem is our problem. You're my partner.”

_That's why I can't tell you_ , Kaoru wanted to say. Instead, he smiled, remembering Wataru's words about Rei's inability to stop himself from helping the ones he cared for.

“Rei-kun, for someone always praising other people for their bright personality, you really have to be blind to not realize you're one of them as well. Maybe I overestimated you.”

“Are you trying to divert my attention from you?" Rei smiled, his thumb caressing Kaoru's arm with a feather-like touch. “I'm honored by your words, but I'm only an inhabitant of darkness reborn as a human being. Like those who have always had the privilege of enjoying their lives in this world, I'm just doing my best to do the same.”

Kaoru slowly opened his eyes and looked up at Rei from his prone position, silently, until he let out a sigh. “No, you're an idiot. You don't even realize how lucky people are to have you around.”

Rei's smile softened unconsciously. “I'm not the only one who doesn't recognize his own worth, then...”

Keeping up the façade of reliable and confident guy around girls had never been a problem for Kaoru. He had always found a way to make them happy, be it with a smile, a courteous gesture or a gift. They had never expected anything else from him, unaware that he had tried to hide his own fragility behind that gentlemanly persona.

Kaoru had always had a soft spot for their genuine need for attentions, and now that he was in their shoes, seeking those same attentions from someone else, he could very well understand them. He got a taste of what it meant to be comforted, and now he was craving more. The fact that there was actually someone willing to accept that side of him only served to fuel that need.

He felt so calm being on that couch with Rei, away from any problem, away from everything and everyone, that Kaoru wished he could freeze time.

\- - - - -

When Kaoru woke up in the middle of the night, he couldn't make out where he was at first. The dim light coming from the window was the only thing that helped him figure it out, but he felt too tired and sleepy to be able to focus on his surroundings. As he sat up on the bed and rubbed his eyes, he realized that he didn't even know how he'd gotten to his own room when all he could remember was the moment he had lied down on the couch next to Rei. Had he fallen asleep from exhaustion? He would have to apologize to Rei, if that was the case.

His eyes slowly turned towards Nagisa's bed first, then Yuuta's. They were sleeping so soundly and peacefully that it would have been a real pity waking them up. Not that he had any reason to do it, like he had no reason to stay in his room, since he knew it would be difficult for him to get back to sleep. He couldn't even ask Rei to keep him company or he would have seriously questioned his sanity.

Kaoru rubbed the nape of his neck and sighed, looking around while thinking about what to do. It was then that he noticed the blinking light of his phone on the nightstand... and a shiver ran down his spine.

Tiredness and sleepiness were long gone when Kaoru reached for his phone, although he hesitated for an instant the moment he touched it with his fingertips. He could have ignored it... but what if it was a message from – unlikely, given the hour – someone who was looking for him?

“...”

He took deep breath to calm his heart, then unlocked the screen.

All the unread messages, sent by the same anonymous person he had come to hate during the past two weeks, popped up in front of his eyes in a disturbing way.

> “Nowadays there aren't many young people willing to follow the rules and listen to advice.”  
> “Did you appreciate the photos? Well, probably not, but you made the right choice, Kaoru-san. You deserve a reward.”  
> “There's something important we have to talk about.”

Kaoru recognized in an instant the address sent to him. It was near Time Street.

> “Tomorrow night, 11 PM. Come alone. Be wise and there will only be advantages for you.”

\- - - - -

Kaoru was sitting at a table in the corner of a little Café when he looked out of the window to the building across the street. It was almost time for the meeting, and yet he was feeling nauseous at the mere idea of taking a step into that place. He had to go, not showing up would have made everything he had endured until that moment vain, but the more he looked at that hotel, the more he remembered what had happened at the party.

He kept an eye on the building as he stood up and paid for the coffee that still sat untouched on the table, and with his hat lowered on his face, Kaoru left the Café. He had no more excuses to delay the inevitable, so, after glancing one last time at his watch, he crossed the street and, with feigned composure to hide his nervousness, walked through the hotel's entrance.

The guy at the front desk looked up as soon as Kaoru stepped inside. He watched him, and only after a few moments he welcomed him with a bow of his head.

Kaoru didn't even wait a second before heading quickly towards the stairs. The instructions were precise: no one would ask him questions, all he had to do was go to a specific room without attracting attention and without talking to the hotel staff.

It was so perfectly organized that it only made him feel more nauseous, which worsened when he stopped in front of the room. He didn't even have the time to come to terms with the situation, because he heard the sound of a door opening at the end of the hallway and the fear of being seen and recognized pushed him to knock on the door and enter the room soon after without waiting for a response.

Silence anticipated the voice that still haunted his dreams, even after weeks. Sitting on the bed, wearing a suit that didn't quite match the cheapness of that place, was the man he'd met at the party.

“Good evening, Hakaze-san. Please, take a seat.” He smiled softly, his legs crossed.

Every effort to stay calm shattered as soon as Kaoru met the man's eyes. The instant the door closed behind him, he lunged forward and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, so suddenly that his hat fell to the floor.

“You...” There was only hatred in his voice. “How dare you...?”

The man looked unimpressed, as if he had expected that reaction. “Come on.” He grabbed Kaoru's wrist with a gentle squeeze. “There's no reason to get angry at me. At least, not regarding what's happening to you? But it would be better to listen to what I have to say... for your own good.”

Kaoru tightened his grip on his shirt until he started trembling with rage. “No reason? Are you kidding me!? As if I would listen to you after everything you put me through! You did nothing but lie since we first met!”

The man narrowed his eyes at him, but his smile didn't falter. "Hakaze-san, you're not a fool. In light of everything that's happening, I'm sure you can understand why I had to do something like that. I wanted to approach you, but I couldn't expose myself so easily.”

“I certainly can't understand why you drugged me.” Kaoru pushed the man's hand away and got to his feet, taking a few steps back with a disgusted face.

“Certain substances can make you feel euphoric. All your worries, all your problems, everything disappears. Many can't live without them, you know? But I'm sorry you had such a bad experience. I just wanted to approach you in a... light-minded mood?” Something about his laugh made Kaoru shiver. “But this time I'm here with the sincerest intentions, to make you an offer on behalf of those that, unlike me, have the power and desire to destroy your life. Are you willing to listen to me?”

The only reason Kaoru didn't tell him that he wouldn't have had such a bad experience if it hadn't been for  _him_ , was the fact that he was torn between the urge to punch him in the face and the need to get out of that place. The oppressing feeling of the room shrinking around him was taking his breath away, so he didn't really want to prolong his misery.

“I know you're in a difficult situation, Hakaze-san, and I'm here to offer you my help.”

“What a generous offer, coming from someone who just said he has no voice in this story.”

“Let's say that this power has been granted to me by the ones pulling the strings. You may not believe me, but my interest in you is anything but a bunch of nonsense. You have charm, willpower, the desire to reach for the stars. I can't help but feel attracted to you... and since I want to prove my honesty this time, I won't be a hypocrite and I'll tell you this. You being the son of the Hakaze household further sparks my interest in you.”

Kaoru couldn't believe he was really considering listening to what that man had to say, but what did he have to lose? The many photos and messages he'd received were a terrible reminder of how easy it would be for him to lose everything. Leaving wouldn't have changed anything, but on the other hand...

Taking Kaoru's silence as permission to keep talking, the man's lips curved into an enigmatic smile. “First things first, I'm not the one who kept in contact with you, and I have no idea who's behind it either. Code names, disposable numbers, people used as nothing more than dummies... Nobody knows anybody, Hakaze-san. But they will listen to me if I give them something profitable. They don't care about you, their main interests are power and money. You're a pawn, like the idols before you... but I can protect you. You, and your unit. When Ensemble Square will collapse, your career won't be affected by it, you-”

“Wait, wait. Protect me?” Kaoru let out a strained laugh. “That's rich, coming from you, _Mr. Nobody_. You want my career to not be affected, but you side with the people who are giving me hell.”

“Come on, even though you're still young, I'm sure you understand the situation I'm in. My hands are tied. I can offer them a deal, but I certainly won't turn them into my enemies. They want to use you for their own purposes, they don't care about anything else, I already told you. But I...” The man leaned forward on his legs and folded his hands, turning the smile into a smirk when he met Kaoru's eyes. “I could give you anything you want. I just want you to be nice to me... after all, I already admitted I have a soft spot for you.”

As realization struck him, Kaoru's eyes widened, before his expression twisted in disgust.  
“You're crazy.” He hissed, not even hiding his contempt.

“Am I? I don't think so. I'm offering you a way out of this situation, but you're refusing it. Maybe _you_ 're the fool here.”

“A way out? At what cost? And how do I know you're not telling one of your many lies?” Without taking into account that they were talking as if Ensemble Square was already done for. “Do you think you're doing me a favour? If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't even have to be here.”

The man didn't respond right away. He looked at Kaoru as if he was pondering something. “I can't give you certainties, but I'm here telling you these things for your own good. That's got to mean something, don't you think?”

“Well, sorry if I find it hard to believe after everything I've been through for the last two weeks.”

“Hakaze-san.” The man sighed. “It's my intention... no, my desire, to get you out of this mess before it gets worse. You don't know what they're capable of.”

He wanted nothing more than to be able to forget about the messages and photos, to stop lying to Rei, Koga and Adonis... that was everything Kaoru was wishing for, but to believe that man? He wasn't so stupid. And seeing what had happened between them, he really had no reason to trust him.

“I'm not asking for the world here, Hakaze-san, just for a little of your time. I intend to be kind to you, to make up for our first meeting. You care about your and your friends' career, don't you? Your future will be brighter than you can think of, you won't have to worry about a thing.”

“Leave my friends out of it.”

“That's precisely what I'm offering you, a way to leave them out of this story.”

Kaoru realized that everything would have been easier if he hadn't called Rei that night. He could have waited to get better before taking a taxi, but panic had made him do what he was now regretting.  
If only he'd been the only one portrayed in those photos... and yet, the situation wasn't that simple. UNDEAD's two main attraction, in a deserted alley, in the middle of the night, one of them looking disheveled and clearly in a daze. It wasn't simple at all.

“Hakaze-san...” The man reached out his hand towards Kaoru. “Do you think I would risk meeting you if I only wanted to deceive you?”

Kaoru looked at that hand as if it was the most disgusting thing in the world. He knew they didn't live in a perfect world ruled by love and commitment, that powerful people felt entitled to do whatever they wanted, and that the idol industry was no different. There was always someone ready to crush you for their own personal reasons, ready to laugh at you as you sank to your knees and reaching out their hand to make you believe you had someone to trust. That was the other side of that bright and sparkling world.

“I didn't say anything to my friends because I wanted to leave them out of this story. I didn't say anything to Tenshouin-kun or to Rhythm Link's higher-ups because I had a feeling something was wrong. You... you have someone on the inside of ES, don't you? No, there's no need to answer. You all couldn't have known that I didn't tell anyone, if that wasn't the case.” Kaoru stepped closer, but didn't take his hand. He narrowed his eyes and clenched his fists. “I don't know what game you're playing at, but I swear that if you touch my friends I'll make you regret even thinking about approaching me.”

The man sighed and lowered his hand. “Since you don't seem to understand the situation, I'll tell you how things really are. If you seriously think that the past two weeks have been harsh, then be ready to face what's coming next. Didn't you find it strange that they were sending you those photos without asking anything in return? Well, they will soon ask you to not show up for UNDEAD's next live if you don't want the photos to go public, and let me tell you... you can't even imagine what they have on you and your friend. You said it's my fault if you're in this situation, but that's not true. They had their eyes on you long before our first meeting, and since that night they have continued keeping an eye on you. If you accept my offer, however, you can forget about everything and go back to your life. As I said, I can protect you, but the moment you leave this room... I won't be able to do anything for you anymore. That's the choice I'm giving you.”

Kaoru's breath caught in his throat and a shiver ran down his spine as he stared at him, his heart pounding. When the man mentioned the live, he felt his world crumble, as if the dread he had tried to fight until that moment had suddenly become too hard to bear.

Adonis and Koga's cheerful chatter and laughs in Rhythm Link's office were the first things that came to his mind. What would happen if he didn't show up on stage? He would definitely lose his friends' trust, people would start talking about him, Rei would...

...what would Rei do? What would he think? Maybe he would have forgiven him if Kaoru had told him everything about the blackmail. Perhaps he would have told Kaoru that it wasn't his fault, that he didn't have to worry about anything, that they would find a solution together, although that wouldn't have changed the fact that Kaoru had screwed everything up.

On the other hand, if those photos had gone public, everything Kaoru had endured would have been in vain. He would have no reason to keep protecting his friends, to keep silent... he wouldn't even have any reason to be in that place.

“Hakaze-san, I know you're more than just a pretty face.” Kaoru jolted imperceptibly when that man, smiling, took his hand. “You're smart. You have the opportunity to put an end to all of this and move on.”

Kaoru didn't want to believe any of those words, he didn't want to believe he had no other choice. And for such a loophole to exist... no, it wasn't possible. It had to be a lie. There was no way he could solve everything just by accepting that man's offer, but... what if he could? What if such a possibility really existed?

“I'm not going to hurt you or anything, you don't have to be nervous. I'm willing to do everything in my power so that you'll have a bright future, after all...” The man stood up and brought his hand to Kaoru's face, caressing his cheek with his thumb before sliding it on the nape of his neck. “Since the moment I set my eyes on you, I've been completely captivated.”

Kaoru lowered his gaze, both his expression and his posture unable to hide how unpleasant he found the sudden touch.

Would it have been wrong to cling to that small possibility, if that would really help him protect everything he had? Would it have been wrong to give up his pride for it?

“I really hope you'll start trusting me, Hakaze-san, because I only want what's good for you.”

It happened so fast that Kaoru didn't see it coming, until that man tightened the grip on his nape and kissed him eagerly, taking advantage of Kaoru's surprise to push his tongue in his mouth.

His eyes wide, Kaoru's first instinct was to push him away, but as soon as that man squeezed his hand harder and hold him closer, running his fingers through his hair, something clicked in Kaoru's mind, and... he lost all his will to fight back. He realized that, whether he'd have pushed him away or not, nothing would have changed. Showing up on stage for their next live or deciding to face the consequences for his actions wouldn't have saved him from whoever was blackmailing him.

He was tired. Tired of pretending that he was fine, that those messages hadn't slowly crushed his confidence, that he hadn't been affected by them. Tired of believing that he could fight it, that he really had the power to turn the tables. That was why, when Kaoru closed his eyes and held on to the man's shirt with his trembling hand, he almost felt nothing but resignation. As he kissed him back, the only thing left for him to do was cling to the feeble hope that the possibility that had been offered to him was real.

The man hadn't lied when he'd said he would be gentle. In contrast to his aggressive behavior in the elevator, the man only let his fingertips ghost over Kaoru's neck, carefully moving his hair back behind his ear as he ran his tongue over Kaoru's lower lip, before kissing him again.

A caress, a kiss, taking someone by their hand... those gestures were meant to bring a smile to someone's face, and yet for Kaoru they were turning into a nightmare. He shivered under those touches and felt his heart drop when that man suddenly pushed him onto the bed. Kaoru didn't even have the time to realize what was happening before the man was towering over him, tilting his chin up to kiss him again, going down his jawline and then up his cheek.

“I knew you were smart enough to make the right choice...” He whispered in Kaoru's ear. “You won't regret it.”

But the malicious chuckle that filled the room was telling him otherwise, and although Kaoru shut his eyes tight and brought a hand to his lips – refusing to, at least, give the man the satisfaction to hear how nervous he was, even if that meant holding his breath – nothing could have prepared him for the touch of that man's hand under his t-shirt... or for the feeling of that mouth on his stomach as he started kissing him there.

How could Kaoru even think he could keep going like that? The only reason he wasn't telling him to stop was because of the lump in his throat chocking back his voice, almost making it impossible to breathe. How much would he have to bear for that nightmare to be over? How much of his pride would he have to swallow to get it over with? Why did he have to-

_I'm not the only one who doesn't recognize his own worth._

Kaoru’s eyes widened, stinging with unshed tears as his heart started racing. With his gaze fixed on the ceiling, he felt like he was finally able to breathe again, and like a cold shower, Rei's words instantly cleared his mind.

What was he doing? Who did he think he was to believe he could solve something that neither Eichi nor their agency's higher-ups had been able to put an end to? But most of all... who assured him that those photos wouldn't have gone public anyway? That that man wasn't tricking him? The same man who had drugged him, who had assaulted him at the party, who was working with the people that were blackmailing him.

“Wait-!”

The man looked up at Kaoru. His hand was still on his body, dangerously close to his belt. “As long as you're a good boy, I'll give you everything you want... so, tell me, is there something bothering you?”

Kaoru closed his eyes for a second, until he felt ready to speak. A single tear ran down his cheek when his attention returned on that man, but once again Rei's voice was able to calm him down.

_Your problem is our problem._

“I... can't do it.” A whisper worth a thousand words.

The man looked at Kaoru without flinching, until he snorted and chuckled. “Don't be stupid. You would be digging your own grave.”

Kaoru slowly shook his head. “I don't care...”

In the blink of an eye, the man pinned Kaoru on the bed and straddled him. He leaned forward and squeezed his cheeks when he got closer to him, pausing when their lips barely touched. The gentle smile on his face was gone, replaced by an irritated frown. “You have no idea who you're messing with. Stop acting all high and mighty and do what adults tell you to do if you really want to keep playing with your friends, kid.”

Everything Kaoru had suppressed thus far started coming to the surface, clouding his judgment. Being kissed again by that man made his blood boil, to the point that Kaoru instinctively grabbed him by his shirt and punched him in the face with all his strength. Doing it was so satisfying that he literally kicked the man off from him, so that he could stand up from the bed and back away towards the door. His eyes never left the sight of the man holding his bleeding nose.

“Go to hell.” When he spoke, without giving the man the time to say anything before slamming the door in his face, Kaoru didn't even feel guilty about it.

It was very likely that that man was right, that running away from that lousy room would have meant digging his own grave, but at least he could have stopped shouldering that burden in silence. It was a selfish decision, but Kaoru had always been a selfish man. He had always put his own interests first, and yet Rei had never made him feel guilty for it. He had always supported him, believing in him. Kaoru was sure...

...no. Kaoru hoped that Rei, as well as Koga and Adonis, would be able to forgive that selfish side of him one last time.


	9. Sturm 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does anyone remember the chapter in which Kaoru hummed his solo song? Well, time for an in-depth analysis... and for the emotional comfort we were all waiting for ♥

Kaoru took off his shoes and set them down next to the door, making sure to close it before turning the lights on and walking towards the middle of the rehearsal room. Surrounded by silence and finally away from the rest of the world, he closed his eyes and stretched his arms behind his back, taking a few deep breaths.

He wasn't calm, at all. The fear of having done something unforgivable was still there, hidden within him, ready to remind him that he had no right to relax, that he had been a selfish person. And yet, he was feeling better. Being alone in that place was a great feeling compared to how suffocated he had felt in the hotel room with that man. It helped him clear his mind.

He had been blinded by his ego first, by distress later, but Kaoru had finally understood what he needed to do. He wanted to apologize to Eichi for not saying anything, for acting on his own. He wanted to tell him everything... and to Rei as well. He was only asking for one night. One single night to come to terms with what he had been through, so he could gather himself and manage to talk about it without being too emotional.

Kaoru slowly opened his eyes and idly played a few keys on the piano before approaching the mics. When his fingers slid up the stand of one of them, he immediately recognized the familiar sensation that washed over him, the same sensation he always had during every performance. He loved when that happened: it was the prelude to something bigger, something that was able to make him focus like nothing else.

With his fingers still on the microphone stand, Kaoru's attention moved to the speakers. He looked indecisive, but after a few seconds he approached them. He leaned against the table after plugging in one of the many USB cables that had been abandoned there and linking it to his phone, and only then a tired smile curved his lips. If last year someone had told him that he would have ended up practising in the middle of the night, trying to forget the disgusting events that were still fresh in his mind, he probably would have laughed in their face.

Well, since he finally had the demo in his hands, at least that was an excellent opportunity to finally hear the product of the lyrics he had started writing out of boredom years ago and had finished writing during two of the worst weeks of his life.

That certainly sounded very promising.

Kaoru chuckled at his own thought as he went back to the mics to grab one of them by its stand, listening to the music that started replacing the silence. He combed his hair back, lowering his gaze to the floor to only focus on the tune of his song, and when he finally started singing... everything disappeared. Every doubt, every fear, everything that had happened.

For the first time in ages, his mind was free of any thought. There was only him, the music and those words that filled the rehearsal room.

\- - - - -

Kaoru slumped to the floor the instant the song ended, leaning back with one hand to support himself. His chest was burning and his heart was pounding so fast that catching his breath turned out to be difficult at first, but as he wiped the sweat off his neck with his t-shirt there was a sincere smile lighting up his face. He was feeling so blissed out, so  _good_ for once, that he didn't even notice the door opening until a knock caught his attention.

For a moment he stared at the door, eyes wide as he blinked a few times at the intruder. He seemed to ponder whether tiredness was playing tricks on his delusional mind, completely taken aback by seeing the only person he would have loved to avoid that night… but, despite everything, his smile didn't falter.

“Hey... what brings you here?”

Leaning against the door frame, obviously looking more awake than ever despite the late hour, Rei lifted a hand to his lips to stifle a chuckle, breaking the enigmatic expression with which he'd been staring at Kaoru.

“Shouldn't I be the one asking you that?” Rei didn't wait for an answer, closing the door behind him before approaching Kaoru. “Yuuta-kun texted me, asking me if we were together since you weren't back yet. I tried calling you, but you never answered your phone, so I thought you had something to do. I certainly didn't expect for you to be here, though.”

“A-ah, I was... I was with Moricchi and Kanata-kun.” Kaoru lowered his gaze and bit his lower lip, but he instantly looked up again when Rei sat next to him. Lying came naturally to him. “We spent some time together and we lost track of time, but since I wasn't tired yet...”

“...I understand.” Rei glanced at him, and his smile seemed to soften. “Anyway. The song you were singing wasn't the one you were humming some time ago, by any chance?”

“W-what?” It took Kaoru a few seconds. When he realized that Rei had probably been watching his entire solo rehearsal, embarrassment shot up to his cheeks. “Hm, yes? I can't believe you remembered...”

“No way I could forget. It's beautiful, Kaoru-kun. However, I can't help but wonder what your inspiration was. You seemed really into it, as if it was something... personal.”

Kaoru had written down those words trying to run away from his problems, from those terrifying emotions that had accompanied him in recent times, but weren't song lyrics always about something personal in one way or another?

“I'd be lying if I told you I was thinking about something in particular.” Kaoru raised an open hand towards the ceiling, shielding his eyes from the lights as he looked up. An outstretched hand to find a balance that was difficult to achieve... like in his song. “You're putting me in a tough spot here~ hmm, let's say that I got carried away with my emotions, like always. At the end of the day, I'm just a man unable to fight for what he cares for, someone that can do nothing but hope for the situation to be solved on its own while suffering in silence. I constantly feel suffocated by my emotions and I pray someone will be able to bottle them up, to give me what I'm searching for. Am I the one reaching out or am I the fragile person who, in a destroyed world, wishes to be saved? I think everything depends on that...”

An uncomfortable silence fell over the room.  
Kaoru slowly lowered his hand to cover his face, laughing nervously.

“Aaa~nd that's awkward. Why am I telling you this?”

“No, it's not.” Rei whispered. “Being able to voice your emotions is something you should be proud of. There are people out there... people like me, who still have a hard time doing it. Someone would say that it's _amazing_ , you know?”

“Rei-kun, are you still changing your way of speaking? Don't turn this into a regular thing, okay?” A cheerful laugh shook Kaoru's shoulders – to which Rei chuckled softly in return – but when Kaoru sighed, there was already a melancholic note in his voice. “...it's useless if I can only do it in a song, though.”

“And yet, it's thanks to those songs that our fans are filled with emotions. Never look down on something just because you think it's not worthy of your attention. Sometimes the simplest gesture can be enough to make someone happy.” Rei studied him a bit before he resumed speaking. “I'm sorry if I keep asking questions, but I'm intrigued by your song. Is there someone you would like to protect? Someone you don't want to hurt? Ah, but don't feel compelled to answer if you don't want to.”

“Well, it's obvious that I don't want to see the people I care for suffer...”

Rei nodded slightly. “Yes, of course. Kaoru-kun's heart is too big for this world. You have so much love to give to those around you, after all.”

_That's not fair_ , Kaoru thought. Rei couldn't tell him such a thing after everything Kaoru had done, after he'd pushed away the only helping hand he'd been offered. If he truly had had so much love to give, he would have sacrificed himself. If he'd really been a good and selfless person, like Rei said, he wouldn't even have been there in that moment. Hearing him say something like that hurt like hell, like a stinging pain in his chest, _a feather heartache_ that was silently and painfully taking his breath away.

“...Kaoru-kun.”

Kaoru didn't want to look Rei in the eyes, he didn't want to talk about it, he wasn't ready. He wouldn't be able to pretend that he was fine, he knew he would have an emotional breakdown. He was sure of it... and yet, he did it anyway. He slowly looked up, straight into Rei's eyes, and he instantly knew he couldn't stay silent anymore.

“...why are you here? What happened?”

A barely hinted smile curved Kaoru's lips. He had only asked for one single night to prepare himself before having to face that conversation, but even that had been taken away from him. “I haven't been doing a very good job of pretending everything was fine in the past few days, have I?”

“Kaoru-kun, let me say that I can no longer hide that I'm worried about you. You said you were with Shinkai-kun and Chiaki-kun, but... they have been in the common room all evening, with everyone else. And not contacting Aoi-kun like that, it isn't like you. I don't want to intrude, but for me, you're...” Rei fell silent, then slowly shook his head. “No, I'm sorry, forget about it. I'm just worried.”

There were many things they needed to talk about, but there was only one thing that could have explained why Kaoru was in that room, in the middle of the night. As he got up, Kaoru knew it was time to get it all out in the open, but when he sat again next to Rei a few moments later and handed him his phone, his eyes were focused on the floor. He didn't have the courage to look at him when Rei started scrolling through all those messages.

“Kaoru-kun...” Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed that Rei was looking at him, but that only made him want to avoid his gaze more. “Why didn't you tell me...?”

“Because...” Kaoru clenched his fists. “...I thought I could handle it.”

“Tell me you didn't go to this meeting.”

There was no need to answer.

Rei was breathing slowly, as if he was trying his best to not lose his calm. “...what happened?”

“Nothing.” But his answer was too sudden, and it sounded fake to his own ears too, so Kaoru hurried to correct himself. “Nothing that could have made me lose my mind more than I already have been during the last two weeks.” He ran a hand through his hair as he focused on breathing, taking advantage of the fact that he was still looking away from Rei to blink back the tears and prevent them from spilling out. “I met with the man from the party and he... he gave me a choice. He takes orders from whoever is behind the blackmail, but he was willing to bargain with them if I listened to him and did what he wanted. At least, that's what he said. I'm not an idiot, I still think it was a load of bullshit, but... I don't know. When he said they were going to ask me to not show on stage for our live, that they had worse photos of us in their hands... I stopped thinki-”

The sound of his phone falling on the floor echoed in the huge room, and before Kaoru could even understand what had happened, Rei was gripping his shoulders to make Kaoru face him. There was concern in his eyes, fear, and that was enough to make Kaoru's heart skip a beat.

“Kaoru-kun, please, tell me you didn't do what I think.”

He couldn't pretend anymore. He knew that the moment he'd started talking about it, all the stress and anger he had built up would have eventually poured out of him. There was no way he could keep smiling, that he could fool himself any longer.

“I... I didn't stop him at first. I let him kiss me, even when he pushed me down on the bed... it was disgusting, I hated it, but I tried to endure it, I _really_ thought I could handle it...” Kaoru couldn't keep his voice steady, tears flowing freely and emotions that he'd kept hidden away within him breaking to the surface. “I'm sorry, Rei-kun... I wanted to protect what we have, I didn't want to be a disappointment. Koga-kun and Adonis-kun are thrilled for the upcoming live, I would never forgive myself if something happened. I didn't want to be the reason for everything to fall apart, but the more he touched me, the more I felt suffocated, and then I thought about your words, when you told me that I wasn't recognizing my own worth and- I couldn't do it anymore. It didn't feel right, being touched by that man, it was so different compared to how you calmed me on the couch, how you silently reassured me that everything would be fine...”

Kaoru was sobbing uncontrollably, but he didn't have the strength to feel embarrassed about it. His chest hurt, it was hard to breathe, and he was sure he would have felt mortified in front of someone else, but in front of Rei he kept crying, shaking, unable to react even when Rei cupped his face and pressed their foreheads together.

“Listen to my voice. It's just you and me now, there's no one else and there never will be, I promise. No photo or scandal will ever bring us down, do you understand? So, please...” Rei's grip tightened slightly. “...never do something like that again. I beg you, _Kaoru_.”

Without even being aware of his gesture, Kaoru sought Rei's closeness even more by holding onto his sweatshirt, feeling his tears coursing down his cheeks unchecked. Words he never thought he would say in front of Rei rolled off his tongue in a whisper.

“I don't want anything to happen to you...”

Kaoru felt fingers running through his hair and one arm tightening around him before being pulled into a hug that let him hide his face in the crook of Rei's neck.

“That goes for me as well.” Rei murmured, “What happened to you is unforgivable...”

Kaoru stilled in Rei's arms, his breath coming in short gasps. His embarrassment deepened as he came to terms with what was happening, but between his pounding heart and the blood roaring in his ears, it was as if his brain had stopped functioning. Rei's perfume was engulfing him and the gentle confidence with which Rei was holding him was calming him in a way Kaoru didn't even think was possible. It was as if Rei was holding something fragile, as if he was afraid he could break him... and maybe that was true. Maybe Kaoru would have really broken if he had stayed in that hotel room.

Anything Kaoru had said was going to haunt him in the future, he was sure of it. That was why he preferred to let actions speak for themselves, why he yielded to the warm, strong hug.

“The nightmare is over, Kaoru-kun.” Rei's fingers slid on Kaoru's nape, which he caressed with his thumb. “We'll find a way to turn those photos into worthless pieces of paper. Both you and Koga taught me that, as a human being, I can't do everything on my own. The same goes for you, Kaoru-kun, so, from now on, we'll face everything together. You made the right choice in that hotel. If you had stayed there to protect us, I would have never forgiven myself. Your well-being is more important than anything else.”

Kaoru nodded softly, loosening his grip to free himself from that hug and meet Rei's gaze. On his flushed face, there was now a sincere smile that for too long had been replaced by a frozen one. “...at least I had the satisfaction of punching him in the face and kicking him.” His voice was still shaken and hoarse, but there was also a hint of cheerfulness underneath.

“That was one of the smartest decisions you ever made.” Rei's smile warmed his eyes. “But please, don't tell anyone I support such acts of violence.”

“Oh... I wanted to say that I could use this information to blackmail you, but perhaps it's too soon...?”

“Yes, it's definitely too soon, Kaoru-kun. I can only take care of a few problems at a time, after all.” Rei laughed, and so did Kaoru, but when their eyes met, he looked at him with renewed confidence. “It will be alright. You proved that you care about all of us, but it's time for someone to lighten your burden.”

Kaoru lowered his gaze, a smile still on his lips. “I had already decided to tell Tenshouin-kun everything tomorrow morning. I underestimated the situation and I panicked as soon as I became a target. When I saw those photos, I realized how easy it would be to lose everything and how little I could do about it. I felt useless... and that's why, in that hotel room, I really thought about... going through with it. After spending so much time feeling useless, I naively thought I should seize the only solution that had been offered to me.” He wiped the tears from his eyes and his laughter echoed in the room. “I just wanted some time alone! You know, to blow off some steam, to clear my thoughts and to accept that it was time to put aside my pride. That's why I came here tonight, to prepare myself to face Tenshouin-kun... and to face you. I would have explained everything to you tomorrow, but as always you managed to ruin my plans, Rei-kun~”

“I'm sorry. As I said, I couldn't keep quiet anymore, I was too worried. But if you don't mind, I would like to be with you when you talk with Tenshouin-kun. Right now, our top priority is to take care of this situation.”

“I would also like to inform Koga-kun and Adonis-kun. They're involved as well, they have every right to know what's going on.”

Rei nodded. “Of course, but take your time, Kaoru-kun, and feel free to omit what causes you discomfort.”

“No...” Kaoru already knew what he had to do. “I'll tell them everything, starting with what happened to the party weeks ago. I won't make the same mistake again, being silent hasn't brought me anything good.”

“As you prefer.” A proud smile curved Rei's lips. “If I can do anything for you, don't refrain from asking, okay? Like I said, your problem is our problem.”

Seriously, Kaoru was sure that he didn't deserve someone like Rei by his side. During their years at Yumenosaki Academy he had always been hateful, he was honest enough to admit that. But Rei had never given up on him and, on the contrary, he had dragged him in so many surreal situations that Kaoru had actually started enjoying his company, making him think that it would have been worth it to keep working as an idol with him by his side... to the point that, that night, he had been on the verge of giving up on himself for him- no, for  _them_ . For UNDEAD.

That thought really scared Kaoru, but it also warmed his heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wishing you merry Christmas and happy New Year in advance!! ♥


	10. Sturm 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes you have to touch the bottom before returning to the surface :)

Engulfed in a pitch black darkness, Kaoru soon realized that he couldn't see, hear or smell anything. Nothing restricted his movements, yet he couldn't move a muscle. He was fully conscious, as if his mind was awake but his body wasn't, as if he didn't have control of it.

Nothing was helping him figure out where he was. In fact, he couldn't even remember how he had ended up in that situation. He was alone, with no idea of what to do to get out of it, and with a bad feeling that was starting to make his heart race faster the more he tried, to no avail, to move.

Kaoru tried to speak, but his voice died in his throat. Even his sighs and deep breaths were silent. He really was powerless, unable to do anything but stay there, waiting for something – for someone, that could have helped him.

It was then that he felt something touching his ankle, slowly sliding up his leg, and the feeling of someone towering over him. Fingers brushed over his cheek, then his lips. It was a calming sensation that somehow, for a moment, really helped Kaoru relax, but the following instant the person above him abruptly covered his mouth with a hand.

“Have you ever done it with a man?”

Kaoru immediately recognized the voice and he felt his heart skip a few beats before it started thundering in his chest. He squeezed his eyes shut when he felt the man's hand move under his shirt, a revolting feeling that worsened as those fingers ghosted over his skin.

“Sssh. Everything's fine.” Said a different voice, a more familiar one.

Kaoru's eyes opened wide, then squinted at the suddenly too-bright light of Seisou's common room. A faint music was coming from somewhere in the distance, but his attention was focused on the melodious voice that was now whispering in his ear, on those arms that were holding him from behind.

“There's no need to be afraid.”

“...Rei-kun?” Kaoru slowly turned, frowning.

As soon as their eyes met, Rei smiled. He rested his chin on Kaoru's shoulder before affectionately kissing his neck. “No one will hurt you from now on. You're safe.”

Kaoru's body relaxed in response and he subconsciously tilted his head to offer Rei's mouth more skin. Leaning back, he sighed in relief and put his hand on top of Rei's, closing his eyes. Rei's voice had been enough to chase away the disgusting feeling of that man's hands on his body, to the point that Kaoru didn't even question his behaviour when Rei started peppering his neck with kisses.

“Kaoru-kun... you'll reduce me to ashes with your handsomeness, I'm sure of it...”

They were so close that they could breathe each other's air, and maybe for this reason, when Kaoru slowly opened his eyes again, it took him a few moments to find the right words. “Don't say things you don't really mean...”

Rei didn't answer. Instead, a smile touched the corners of his mouth and he erased the distance between them with a kiss.

Kaoru jolted awake. He abruptly sat up on the bed and covered his flushed face with his hands before rubbing sleep from his eyes, not even noticing the loud knocking on the door that almost seemed close to breaking it down.

“What...” He held his chest with a hand, unable to calm his heart when all he could think about was the dream he had just awakened from. “What was-”

“Hakaze-senpai??” Koga yelled through the door, his tone definitely annoyed.

He kept knocking, but Kaoru didn't move. It was possible that what had happened the night before in the rehearsal room was partly responsible, but to dream of something like that? There was no reasonable explanation.

“Hakaze-senpai! Are you still sleeping?? For god's sake, don't fuckin' tell me you seriously got into the habit of wakin' up in the middle of the night like Sakuma-senpai!” Koga knocked harder. “HAKAZE-SENPAAAAI??”

Kaoru jumped out of bed, ready to tell Koga to stop yelling, but all his determination died the moment he threw open the door and Rei greeted him with a tired smile.

“Forgive him, Kaoru-kun...” He was leaning against the wall next to the door, his arms crossed over his chest. “I tried introducing the matter while you were sleeping, but it seems Koga's still unable to listen to people properly...”

“It's not your fault, Sakuma-senpai.” Adonis sighed. “I wasn't fast enough to stop him, he took me by surprise by running away like that.”

Koga turned towards them and clicked his tongue. “You two, stop talkin' like I don't even exist, it gets on my nerves!”

“The matter...?” It took Kaoru a couple of seconds to grasp the situation, but when he did, his gaze shifted from Koga to Adonis, and finally to Rei. “Oh, _that._ ”

“Yeah, _THAT_.” Koga entered the room without waiting for an invitation, to go and sit at the foot of Nagisa's bed. He crossed his legs, snorting in annoyance. “Sakuma-senpai suddenly told us to come straight back to the dorm after school, it kinda threw me out of whack, you know?”

_Wait- after school?_ Kaoru looked at the clock on the wall and blinked in disbelief.  
Knowing that they had a few days off, he had decided to listen to Rei's advice and rest, but he never thought he would actually end up sleeping until late afternoon... well, he had cried so much the previous night that Kaoru had practically collapsed in bed as soon as Rei had accompanied him to his room, so it made sense somehow.

Although, given what he'd dreamt of, it would have probably been better if he hadn't slept at all.

Kaoru cleared his throat and stepped aside, inviting the other two in. He greeted Adonis with a smile when he heard him whisper a timid “Sorry for the intrusion” before going to sit next to Koga, but he unconsciously held his breath when Rei approached him and stood next to him.

“I didn't want to interrupt your rest, I'm sorry, Kaoru-kun. Maybe we should come back later?”

Kaoru could feel everyone's eyes on him, even though his own were fixed in Rei's. “N-no, there's no need. I'm going to the bathroom to wash my face, so... could you continue explaining the situation to them, in the meantime?”

Adonis promptly shut Koga's mouth with his hand before he could say anything, letting Rei nod and speak without being interrupted. “Please, take your time.”

Thanking him in a low voice, Kaoru excused himself. His smile didn't leave his lips until he entered the bathroom, but as soon as the door closed behind him, the embarrassment he had tried to hide until that moment shot up to his cheeks. He quickly turned the shower on and shoved his head under the stream, wincing and swearing under his breath as the icy water hit his scalp and trickled down his back, like needles on his warm skin.

That, at least, calmed him down a bit. He knew that wasn't the time to think about his weird dream, there were other priorities to address. He had to erase everything from his mind, to stop asking himself why he'd dreamt of Rei – why he'd dreamt of  _kissing_ him, for heaven's sake – and do his best to not make a fool out of himself in front of the others.

Kaoru took a deep breath and turned the water off, keeping his eyes fixed on the shower tray for a few moments as he sorted his thoughts. He dried his hair quickly with a towel and took off his soggy t-shirt, then tossed both in the hamper. Only then, when he decided he could face Rei properly, he finished his morning routine and went to join the others.

By then, the mood had definitely changed. Koga was strangely quiet and Adonis was speaking with Rei, asking him something along the lines of “Is there no way to find out who he was?”.

Kaoru didn't want to interrupt them, so he just opened his closet to grab a clean t-shirt to put on while listening to Rei.

“We're doing our best to find him. Every spare moment me and Tenshouin-kun have is devoted to gathering any possible clue. I know for certain that he started investigating the guest list of Kaoru-kun's father's party, and that he even asked a few members of Eden to help with the investigations regarding the blackmailing issue, since they have some good connections and resources. That shows how much he's willing to do to solve this problem. Well, he did ask me why we couldn't just ask Kaoru-kun to talk to his father, but… I have my reasons to believe that it would be in vain.”

“If Sakuma-senpai and Tenshouin-senpai think so, then there's nothing we can do.” Adonis's eyes were fixed on Rei. “It's really frustrating not being able to do anything, but I understand that it's a delicate situation. And yet, I would like to do something to protect my friends... Anyway, if I may ask, what exactly happened at the party? Why do they have compromising photos of him?”

“I was drugged.”

“…what did you say?” Koga, who had kept quiet until that moment, looked at him in shock.

Kaoru turned one of the chairs so that he could cross his arms on the back of it when he sat down. As he rested his chin on them, a sad smile curved his lips. “Yup~ you heard me. They drugged me. I couldn't even stand and I panicked when I started having trouble breathing. The man who did it approached me in the elevator, blocked it while we were inside and-” A soft sigh. “He took advantage of it. I was able to run away from him and call Rei-kun in a moment of clarity. He found me outside the hotel and helped me. That's when they took the photos.”

Koga clenched his fists so hard that his hands started shaking, but Adonis spoke first, a stern expression on his face. “We can't ignore something like that.”

Rei's gaze was filled with regret. “I know. I'm afraid I may have underestimated the situation in that moment. I probably should have searched for that man right away that night, track him down and-”

“AND FUCKIN' WHAT, YOU STUPID VAMPIRE BASTARD!?”

Judging from Adonis and Rei's faces, Kaoru wasn't the only one surprised by the comeback of that nickname. In fact, when Koga stood up, approached Rei and grabbed the front of his sweatshirt, no one had the readiness to stop him.

“You underestimated the situation? No shit! That's a hell of an understatement, we shouldn't even have gotten to this point! You're right, you should have tracked that asshole down, but then what? Would you have abandoned Hakaze-senpai!? Would you have left him alone to go after that guy!? You-”

Kaoru's laughter broke off Koga's rant. He instantly covered his mouth to stifle it when everyone turned towards him, but he found difficult to do so. “I'm sorry, but... Wan-chan, I can't tell if you're blaming him or praising him...?”

Koga seemed ready to talk back, but instead he clicked his tongue and released his grip. He put his hands in his pants' pockets and glared at Rei. “...both, I guess. He would've been a bastard if he'd left you alone after what you've been through, but he could've brought you back at the dorm and  _then_ started searchin' for him.”

“Ogami, let the senpais speak.” The tone of Adonis's voice seemed calm, but there was a grim, set look on his face. “I'm sure Sakuma-senpai had his reasons for acting that way.”

But Rei didn't thank him for standing up for him, nor he said anything to Koga. “From here on out, I'll tell my part of the story. I tried to support Kaoru-kun any way I could, well aware that there was something bothering him. I didn't want to force him to speak, though, so I waited, hoping he would tell me what was troubling him sooner or later, trying my best to not cross his personal boundaries. It was a delicate situation, but without knowing what was happening, I could do nothing but offer him my unconditional support. However, I must admit that the doubt that something terrible was happening without my knowledge was wearing me out.”

“Serves you right, Sakuma-senpai. Now you know what we had to deal with last year.”

“I suppose you're right, Koga. It's a suitable punishment that I'll accept without complaint, a reminder that I still have to atone for my sins. I still have a lot to learn, but every one of you is teaching me in his own way, and for that I'm grateful.”

Koga grimaced. “Yeah, but now don't talk like that guy that's all about prayer and confessions, okay? I can only stand one of you at a time.”

Adonis leaned on his legs and folded his hands. Within his usual seriousness, he almost looked sad. “Sakuma-senpai, about what you just said... so you knew nothing about the messages Hakaze-senpai was receiving?”

Rei shook his head. “You'll understand that, unaware of those messages, I couldn't exclude that the episode at the party might have been a disastrous coincidence that had nothing to do with the blackmail issue. Without any clues or evidence, although I had a few suspicions, I couldn't do anything. Not to mention that Kaoru-kun had given Tenshouin-kun a version of events that differed from what had really happened, turning it into a personal matter. I felt cornered, and in the meantime Kaoru-kun was acting strangely and didn't seem willing to tell me what was going on.”

“You keep sayin' that Hakaze-senpai was actin' strange and that you didn't know what was happenin', Sakuma-senpai, but what exactly happened? I only understood that Hakaze-senpai's gone through some bad shit.”

As soon as Koga turned towards him, looking puzzled and rather angry, Kaoru instinctively bit his lower lip. He looked at Adonis, who by now couldn't even sit still, and then he looked at Rei. He didn't need his approval to speak, yet a part of him sought it anyway.

“I...” Kaoru run a hand through his hair and scratched his neck. “Well, long story short, I met with that man. He told me a lot of things, even that the people behind the blackmail were going to ask me to boycott our next live. He made me an offer, asking me to...” Kaoru paused and lowered his gaze, breathing a long sigh before laughing nervously. “You know, there's no nice way to say it, so I'll just say it. I tried selling myself. If I had done what he wanted, he would have-”

Kaoru suddenly gasped at the lack of oxygen in his lungs, all his attention focused on the sharp pain on the back of his head as it hit the floor. Before he could even realize what had just happened, Koga towered over him and grabbed him by his t-shirt.

“You did... what?” Koga hissed, glaring down at him.

Both Adonis and Rei approached them, but it was the latter who imposed himself. “Let him speak, Koga. If you want to say something, wait till he's done.”

Kaoru immediately raised a halting hand in their direction, without even looking at them.

“What the fuck do you mean you tried to sell yourself, huh!? What the hell have you done?! Have you lost your mind!?”

“Ogami, stop. Let Hakaze-senpai explain himself.”

“Don't worry, Adonis-kun... he's right. I lost my mind back then.” Kaoru didn't dare move or look away from Koga's worried face, not even when the grip on his t-shirt tightened.

“We UNDEAD don't sell ourselves to such assholes, we destroy them!”

“Both of you, please.” Rei tried again, this time speaking softly, as if he wanted to calm them rather than scold them. “Kaoru-kun, you're the victim here, don't try to take the blame. And, Koga... he didn't do it on his own free will, they harassed him for two whole weeks. That's why he came to think that that was the only thing he could do. Don't make him feel even worse about himself.”

Koga frowned and slowly shook his head. He looked at Rei, but his eyes returned on Kaoru again in a second. “Hakaze-senpai and Sakuma-senpai... just 'cause you two preceded us, it doesn't mean you get to exclude me and Adonis. Everyone in UNDEAD has always done what they wanted, and no  one's ever said anythin' about it, but when faced with problems we've always worked together. If their intention was forcing you to boycott our next live, then  it's never been just your problem, Hakaze-senpai. It's _our_ problem.”

If he hadn't already vented with Rei the previous night, Kaoru would have probably started crying by now. Koga's words really struck him hard, and that's why he smiled at him, hugging him before affectionately ruffling his hair. “Ahh~ Wan-chan, you would be a better senpai than me, you know? I'm sorry I made you worry, it won't happen again, I promise. Really, really ♪”

Kaoru grinned and shut his eyes, preparing himself for another fit of anger, but... nothing happened. Koga didn't get angry, nor for the hug nor for the name, and that actually troubled Kaoru more than he was willing to admit.

“Wan-chan...?” Kaoru looked down, and it was then that he noticed Koga's flushed cheeks.

“Don't... don't do somethin' like that ever again, Hakaze-senpai, okay?” Koga muttered in a low voice. “I know I always say that you're annoyin' as hell when you start gettin' clingy or when you start chit-chattin' about stupid things, but- what happened to you... that's not somethin' someone should keep for himself. You're allowed to speak with us about important stuff, you know?”

Kaoru's smile grew bigger. “Well, I'm hugging you and you haven't tried to bite my head off yet, so... I think I might do it again~”

Luckily, Adonis was quick enough to grab Koga by his arms to pull him away from his friend, because he seemed genuinely intent on keeping his promise when he started yelling that he wanted to kill Kaoru.

On the other hand, Kaoru didn't even try to hide his amusement. Laying on the floor, arms holding his belly, he started laughing so hard that his cheerfulness became contagious, to the point that a sigh of relief escaped Rei's lips and a soft smile replaced the concern upon his face.

“As much as I like seeing you all so carefree...” Rei approached Kaoru and reached out his hand towards him to help him stand up. Kaoru accepted it without a second thought, thanking him with a slightly embarrassed smile. “...this brings us to our current problem.”

“Hakaze-senpai...?” Adonis forced Koga to sit on the bed next to him before finally asking the question he'd had on his tongue for quite a while now. “I apologize in advance if you'll find my request a bit cheeky, but would it be possible to see those photos and messages? I would like to understand exactly what we're dealing with.”

“You have nothing to apologize for, Adonis-kun.” Kaoru certainly didn't want to drag that story out, so he looked at Koga and nodded his head towards his phone on the nightstand. He had always known it was only a matter of time, after all. “As Wan-chan said, you two are involved as well. It's only fair for you to know what exactly is happening.”

As silence engulfed the room, Kaoru put his hands in his pockets and relaxed his shoulders. Believe it or not, seeing his two friends read those texts didn't even make him feel uncomfortable. He knew there was no reason to be ashamed, that their situation wasn't a laughing matter. Pouring out his fears and anger really had helped him clear his mind.

“Kaoru-kun...?” Rei called him in a whisper and rested a hand on his back, smiling. “Anything I can do for you?”

Kaoru's skin prickled under Rei's caress, even with his t-shirt shielding him from a direct contact. Even though he knew that it was only a gesture of encouragement, that it didn't mean anything at all, that touch somehow made him think of the arms that had held him tight in his dream, of the lips that had kissed him, and Kaoru blushed from head to toe.

He cleared his throat and looked away, unable to keep Rei's gaze. “Thank you, but- everything's fine.”

“This...” Rei and Kaoru turned towards Adonis. “I can't believe such despicable people exist. It's inhumane.”

“No, it's not inhumane, this is sick.” Koga corrected him. He kept reading those messages as if he didn't believe they were real, as if he was hoping they would disappear right before his eyes.

“We have to do something in order to protect those who can't do it themselves.” It was rare for Adonis to show such an angry look on his face. “Doing something like this to Hakaze-senpai, who's a strong person... What if someone weaker will suffer the same fate?”

Kaoru put his hands on his hips, giving Koga and Adonis a thoughtful look. “I agree with you, but  _we_ won't do anything. It's exactly that kind of thought that led me to behave the way I did. Later, Rei-kun and I will meet with Tenshouin-kun to tell him everything. We...” He glanced at Rei, who nodded. “...we think it's better to inform him first before having a conversation with RhyLink's higher-ups. We all know they can be quite... unreliable, sometimes. I wanted to speak with you because you deserved to know. That's all.”

“Hakaze-senpai... are you all right now?” Koga slowly raised his eyes to meet Kaoru's, and when he saw him nod with a smile, he nodded in response. He put down the phone on the bed and crossed his legs, resting his chin on the palm of his hand. “Okay. At least that bourgeois asshole will finally use his authority to do some good.”

“That's certainly what we all hope for, given the current situation.” Everyone turned towards Rei when he approached Koga and Adonis. He gestured at Kaoru to come closer, and only then he took out his own phone and gave it to him. “I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news, and I humbly ask for forgiveness for not mentioning this earlier, but I wanted to give you the time to be at ease, Kaoru-kun.”

The cheerfulness that had accompanied Kaoru vanished into thin air the moment he started scrolling through the many photos Rei had received. Many had been taken the night of the party, in the alley, but most of them where photos of Kaoru in that love hotel, lifted from the feed of the security cameras. He felt sick just by looking at them, but nothing could have prepared him for what he saw next.

He knew what the video contained just by looking at the preview.

“Your intuition was right, Kaoru-kun.” A spark of rage flashed into Rei's eyes. “There's really someone inside ES who's working with the blackmailers.”

No one felt like talking the moment Kaoru's previous night's sobs and apologies filled the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be full of dialogues. Brace yourselves, Eichi is coming ♪


	11. Sturm 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dialogue heavy, lot of explanations, Eichi being Eichi ♥

Kaoru couldn't stop thinking about the way Koga and Adonis had looked at him, almost afraid that he could have broken right before their eyes. The silence had been uncomfortable until they had started making questions, asking both him and Rei how it could be possible those men had that footage, but Kaoru had said nothing; unable to get over the fear that had petrified him, unable to come to terms with the fact that someone other than Rei had actually seen him at his worst, Kaoru had only been able to look right back at them with a deadpan expression as soon as he had realized that he had been right all along: even ES's building wasn't safe.

Noticing Kaoru's state of mind, Rei had escorted the other two out of the room in an instant, but that hadn't helped him at all. Kaoru hadn't felt any better because that video had shamelessly shoved reality in his face, to the point that he had stared at it without being able to find any excuse, anything that could have helped him calming himself down.

That video wasn't like the photos taken after the party or in that hotel room, of which Rei and Kaoru knew the story behind. Kaoru's tears had been real, Rei's embrace too genuine, and his desire to have Rei by his side and to be comforted by him had been more than real: it had been an actual need.

That realization was what had frightened Kaoru the most.

“I need to know something first, Sakuma-kun.” Sitting at his own desk, Eichi kept looking at Rei's phone with a stern expression. “Are you two having a love affair? Please, be honest. I have no problems with it, but I have to know, I can't afford to leave anything to chance by now. Depending on your answer, we'll have to act accordingly.”

Rei, standing at his side, didn't look in the least bothered by that insinuation. “There's nothing more than a close friendship between Kaoru-kun and me, Tenshouin-kun. As I told you, my partner underwent a considerable psychological and physical stress due to everything that has happened to him. I gave him all the emotional support he needed, and I hardly regard that as a mistake on my part.”

Kaoru, from the couch, looked up in time to cross Eichi's eyes. From how he was looking at him, with the usual calm and poise that showed in his every gesture, it almost seemed like he was thinking about Rei's statement and was waiting for Kaoru's version of events – the _real_ ones, this time. But Kaoru didn't feel like intruding, not when the video was still too fresh in his mind. He knew he should have been the one explaining everything, but Rei was doing it accurately without neglecting one single detail, so Kaoru decided to stay quiet and listen to the other two.

“This will be your version, then. Okay, I accept it.” Eichi gave Kaoru one last look before turning towards his laptop. “So, Sakuma-kun. To recap, we're here in Seisou Hall because we're now certain that among ES's staff there's someone who's in contact with the blackmailers, and the dormitory rooms, being private areas, are the only ones not under surveillance. With those facts on the table, we have to assume that right now they have a prodigious amounts of data on every idol, regardless of their name, unit or popularity. Such a situation sounds catastrophic...”

“That's what I thought too the first time Kaoru-kun told me about it, then I realized this turned out to be a big misstep from them.”

“Fufu. Clever as ever, Sakuma-kun.” Eichi's face brightened with a tight-lipped smile, but his attention was still on his laptop as he started looking for something specific in the archive folder. “Now, let's exclude idols and producers, who are kept under strict surveillance thanks to ES's rules and regulations, and let's focus ourselves on the staff. Hakaze-kun, what can you tell us about the little mole we're looking for? Anything is fine, actually.”

Kaoru was barely keeping up with what was going through their heads. It almost seemed like they could read each other's minds, and that would have made him laugh for sure at another time.

“...that man said that he had never met with whoever is behind the blackmails.” Kaoru frowned and tried to remember anything that could have helped them, even the smallest detail. “He said that they use disposable numbers to keep in contact, so that they can't be traced. But that means that the phone's records of those that have been in contact with them should show many incoming calls from various disconnected numbers. Well, a total cleaning of the phone's records would be suspect as well, I guess.”

“Hm, unless they did it because, somehow, they were sure they would have been able to walk away from it clean. And yet...” Eichi's smile grew bigger. “Everything leaves a trace, we just have to find the right one. A needle in a haystack still shine when hit by sunlight, you know? And I can easily access our employees' records. Take a good look, there are even their photos ♪”

“Looks like you're enjoying yourself, Tenshouin-kun.” Rei glanced briefly at him, to which Eichi chuckled softly.

“Shouldn't I? ♪ I wanted to do it since the first time I've seen Saegusa-kun do it. Anyway, back on topic, on normal circumstances it would be difficult to narrow it down, but luckily not this time.”

“You're talking about the agencies' change of personnel of a few months ago, aren't you?” Rei rested his hand on the back of the chair and put his other one on his hip as he stared at the laptop. “Employees have been reduced to the minimum necessary.”

“Exactly. And we can count on the fingers of one hand those who works in ES's certain areas.”

“Thanks to Wholehands system that replaced more than half of the employed staff. An ethical choice that I don't agree with, but which might prove useful. We- wait.” Rei promptly pointed to a specific folder on the laptop. “Tenshouin-kun, how many people have access to the Information Room?”

“Apart from those personally authorised by me, Saegusa-kun or very few other people?” Eichi hummed in a satisfied tone. “Let's see... only five employees. The situation certainly looks less catastrophic than before ♪ We can't rule out the possibility that an outsiders found a way to have access to the room, but not everyone can be that smart, can't they?”

Eichi sounded way too happy saying something like that, to the point that Rei snorted an amused chuckle before replying. “You still have all their references, right?”

“Who do you think I am? Now, I may not be the one who did the interviews, but I can tell you that the person in charge of them did quite a wonderful, meticulous job keeping track of everyone's resumes. What a shame, though. To think someone would be willing to lose their place in this newly-born garden because they didn't even try resisting to take the apple offered to them.”

“...Kaoru-kun?”

Kaoru, who had sat there staring blankly at nothing without even realizing it, blinked a few times and looked up. Rei was smiling at him, but it clearly was difficult for him to fully hide his concern.

“Yes, I'm...” Kaoru felt like an idiot for thinking that he could have solve that situation by himself, especially when Rei and Eichi were making everything look so easy. They had already reached the turning point with just an exchange of views, while he had almost dragged Rei to the bottom with him, making him worry with his silences. “...I'm just a bit tired, you know? I'll go wash my face.”

They both looked at him for a brief moment, but fortunately, when Kaoru stood up from the couch, neither Eichi or Rei asked him questions. They resumed what they were doing, hardly sparing him a second glance when he closed the bathroom's door behind himself.

Kaoru slid to the floor with a heavy sigh, bringing a hand to his head and closing his eyes when he felt his blood pulsing and the headache growing. He couldn't fathom the reason why _they_ had dragged Rei into it. What was the point of doing something like that when that man had specifically told him that their only interest was to crush Ensemble Square? That they had no interest in them as individuals? Just setting him up with the photos taken at the party, making the world think he did drugs, would have made ES suffer a heavy blow. Rei would have gone down with him. UNDEAD would have probably too. Making the photos go public would have been enough to destroy them at once, so... why? What was the point of continuing tormenting them?

As he slowly opened his eyes to stare at the ceiling, the same strange sensation Kaoru had felt in his stomach in seeing Rei outside his room a few hours before overwhelmed him again. The more he thought about the photos the more he couldn't help but thinking that his dream was somehow related to everything that was happening to him. And at the same time, he knew there was something more he still couldn't grasp. Getting closer to Rei, being comforted by him, even the fact that Rei had been extremely kind to him...

Kaoru had no problem admitting that he loved being in the spotlight and receiving attentions. Contrary to the previous year, he didn't even have problems with being surrounded by guys anymore. He had changed, chit-chatting and joking with his friends didn't bother him at all, but...

"...kissing him?" Just saying it out loud made Kaoru blush immediately.

Taking a deep breath, Kaoru stood up sharply, but the dizziness that assailed him not even a second later forced him to lean against the door, to avoid falling to the ground. He pressed his fingers between his eyebrows and closed his eyes, trying to stop the throbbing headache that was killing him, but his vision was still blurry when he opened them again, so inhaled and exhaled slowly, even washing his face in cool water to pull himself together.

_Just a little longer_ , Kaoru thought as he got back to the others. He would have had all the time in the world to rest when that story had been over.

“Hakaze-kun.” Instead of being in front of his laptop, Eichi was standing right next to Rei with his arms crossed when Kaoru got out of the bathroom. There was a strange smile on his lips... on both of their faces, although Rei's was accompanied by a kinder expression. “Is this the man who assaulted you?”

Kaoru's heart started to flutter. He looked at the laptop in astonishment mixed with a hint of dread, yet... full of hope. They had nothing to lose and everything to gain. If that man hadn't been the one they were searching for, nothing would have changed. On the contrary...

“...” Kaoru clenched his fists. The sadness he felt as his eyes rested on the photo of that man was borne of anger, bitterness for not having punched him stronger just by remembering what he had made him gone through. “...yes. That's him.”

There was no way Kaoru could forget that grin.

Proudly, Eichi started explaining himself. “There were five employees who had access to the Information Room. Two of them are new hires who started working here from a few weeks and one is a long-time employee that works for us since the foundation of Ensemble Square. Regarding the other two, one worked for a famous company that went bankrupt, on which I'll investigate nonetheless, while the other one... fufu~”

“According to this man's resume, before being unfairly dismissed, he worked for an agency that used to being quiet famous in the past.” Rei stood beside Kaoru, looking at the photo himself as he kept talking. “However, we found out that this agency no longer exist. Or rather, a few months ago it was bought by a huge corporation, it changed name and is now one of the most hostile agency towards Ensemble Square. A noteworthy coincidence which, as you can tell, paid off as soon as we started digging into it. Tenshouin-kun already dispatched the security to take the man into custody for further investigations, on charges of leaking classified information and documents.”

“With the little mole in our hand, all we had to do was to trace back the tunnel system it dug, back to its starting point... and that's where you come in, Hakaze-kun. Without you, we would still be at a standstill. Perhaps I should thank you?”

Kaoru didn't even turn towards Eichi. “Why, exactly?”

“The party, Hakaze-kun.” Eichi sat again at his own desk and opened a few documents on his laptop, to show them to Kaoru. “You told me to investigate those who attended it and so I did, although I now owe Hiyori-kun one for getting me the list. We all know that these high-society parties usually serve to provide plausible cover for illegal businesses, that's why many guests introduce themselves only through the agency which they belong to instead of their real name. Thanks to our mole, however, we didn't need a name. By cross-checking those agencies and the ones affiliated with the one our mole worked for, we found out that only one agency appeared in both. And here he is, the department head of said agency. Seems like his interest in you has also been his undoing.”

“Let that be a lesson to him.”

Eichi glanced at Rei hearing him say that, noticing that he was dead serious, but he didn't reply. “Hit one card and the castle will literally fall apart. The moment we'll have that man in our hands, the others will back away without any second thoughts. Besides, Sakuma-kun and I reached a conclusion.”

“They never intended to make those photos go public.” Rei said, turning towards Kaoru with a smile curving the corner of his lips. “Out of his many lies, that man probably said the truth when he told you that they don't care about us idols. Their goal had always been to use us to destroy Ensemble Square. They want to make it collapse under his own weight, without dirtying their hands. They should get in touch with some intermediaries to sell those photos, or even worse, they should stop hiding to do it themselves. But why risking? If they wanted to, they would have already sold them.”

Rei's reasoning made sense and his explanation was impeccable, but there was still one thing that worried Kaoru. “How do we know they won't sell them the moment they will feel cornered?”

“Because those will be evidence of a crime, Hakaze-kun.” Eichi turned towards the other two and crossed his legs, leaning on the desk with his elbow to rest his chin on the back of his hand. “I decided to tell the media everything about the blackmail ES is currently undergoing. Whoever will sell or will be in possession of any of those photos will be automatically found guilty.”

Some relief trickled through Kaoru to know that, at least, they finally knew the identity of that man. However, that didn't help lessen the guilt that was burdening his conscience. “Thanks, Tenshouin-kun. I know you didn't do it for me personally, but for ES's sake and its idols, but even so... well, thank you, anyway.” A faint smile. “And sorry I didn't tell you about the photos and the messages right away. I now realize it would have been the right thing to do... I wasn't thinking clearly.”

“You're one of its idols as well, Hakaze-kun.” Eichi specified. “And as unpleasant as your experience was, without you we couldn't have found out there was someone inside ES in contact with the blackmailers. It would have been enough for them to keep sending photos and messages to force idols to do whatever they wanted, and yet, with you, they took this misstep of sending a footage taken from the security cameras. This man not only has been stupid enough to approach you like that, he even thought he could get away with it after emotionally manipulating you. This footage...? It was probably a childish revenge because you refused to play along with him. These people really think they're Gods who can play with other's lives.”

Was it okay to put it all behind him? Could he really hope that, for now, none of those individuals would have tried getting in touch with him or Rei? Could he really... breathe again? Kaoru wasn't entirely sure, but he decided to trust Eichi. There was nothing more to do for him... now, he just had to learn from his own mistakes and to get back in the game with his head held high.

“Yes, you're right. What I've been through... I don't wish that on anybody.”

“Can I leave everything in your hands from now on, Tenshouin-kun?” Rei asked, to which Eichi nodded.

“I'll oversee this matter personally, as I fear for this man's safety if he had to fall into the wrong hands.” Eichi glanced briefly at Rei out of the corner of his eye. “We have evidence against him and I'm sure many others will come to light with a proper investigation. I'll also call a meeting tomorrow morning to inform the other agencies, so we can take appropriate steps to deal with whatever will come next. We have to come up with a plan to get hold of those photos, negatives and digital recordings. Everything. However...” Eichi looked at Kaoru, smiling with his usual poise. “...for now, you two should just take it easy. Especially you, Hakaze-kun. You've been through a lot. Your fans won't be pleased if you're not at your best for UNDEAD's upcoming live, don't you think?”

Kaoru nodded without really paying any attention to Eichi, because he didn't fail to notice his gaze towards Rei, nor his implied insinuation. His eyes were fixed on his friend, on his serious face as he kept looking at the photo on the laptop's screen.

A chill run down Kaoru's back, but at the same time his heart skipped a beat. What would have happened if Rei, that night, had actually searched for that man, like Koga had suggested?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter marks the end of the first part!! Just so you know, from now on the story will focus more on Rei and Kaoru's relationship~


	12. Drang 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So many comments for the last chapter, thank you so much!!!! We're so happy that you're enjoying this story, we hope it won't disappoint you! ♥ For now, let's going on with the slow burn and just let me say... Puka Puka~

The room was engulfed in silence and tranquillity as Kaoru hugged the pillow and pulled the blankets up. He didn't know what time it was, nor if lounging like that was the right thing to do given that he was actually awake, but he decided that nothing could have been more important than enjoying that well deserved rest.

For once, he was glad that his mind was free from any thoughts. He was feeling so blissed that he didn't open his eyes even when the mattress sank next to him.

As fingers lightly ran through his hair, a pleasant feeling he had thought was long forgotten warmed his whole body. He felt like a little tickle travelling up his stomach before his lips curved instinctively into a smile. The pleasant caresses relaxed him, more than he actually would have wanted to admit, and they brought with them many emotions that Kaoru instantly recognized: for the first time in many years, he felt desired and protected. He felt loved.

“...ru-kun? Kaoru-kun?”

Kaoru lifted his arm to cover his eyes when he slowly opened them. Adjusting to the bright neon lights of the waiting room took him so long that he had the urge to turn towards the back of the couch to escape that torture.

“Rei-kun...” His voice was drowsy, as was the look he gave the other when their eyes met. “Is it time for the interview already?”

Rei nodded, tilting his head to one side with an inquisitive frown as he leaned over Kaoru. “Yes, but... Kaoru-kun, are you sure you're alright? You look rather pale. I don't want to see you faint in front of me, never again. You scared me yesterday, you know?”

“Sorry.” Kaoru sat up and rubbed his eyes. “I'm fine... just a bit tired.”

There was no need for Rei to remind him of the moment he had collapsed in the hallway after talking with Eichi. Well... not that Kaoru actually remembered it. He only had vague recollections of feeling mentally exhausted, overwhelmed and emotionally drained after realizing that they had really found that man, that _maybe_ he wouldn't have to be afraid of waking up in the middle of the night because of some strange message anymore.

“Perhaps it would be better to avoid accepting new jobs for the next few days?” Rei proposed, carefully observing Kaoru. “We all know that you've been under a lot of stress lately.”

As tempting as the idea of taking a few days off was, Kaoru gave him a dirty look as he stood up. “Absolutely not ♪” He patted Rei's chest lightly before approaching the vending machines. “We have to take advantage of every opportunity to make people talk about us and our next live~”

“...can you at least promise me you won't overdo it and that you'll tell me when it becomes too much?” The concern in Rei's eyes was sincere.

Agreeing to it and promising Rei that he would tell him everything... well, it would have been pretty easy. But Kaoru had decided to stop hiding things, and he was more determined than ever to respect his own decision. That was why he sighed after taking a sip of water.

“Rei-kun... it's obvious that I would like to rest, I've hardly slept in the past two weeks, but... that's exactly why I need to commit myself to our work. I need to focus on something, I need to know that nothing has changed. If I took any kind of break from work... I don't know, it would feel like they won, and I can't accept it. I'm sorry.”

Rei paused. The concerned look didn't leave his face, but his lips curved into a strange smile when he sighed. “Okay, then. If that makes you feel better, I won't say anything. That means that I'll make sure to put you to bed early tonight, though.”

A shiver ran down Kaoru's back. He didn't really like Rei's implication and that smile only served to confuse him more. “R-Rei-kun... you scare me if you say something like this out of the blue.”

“Don't worry, Kaoru-kun. It's in my best interest to help you recover from these past weeks.” Rei's smile grew wider. “As you said, we have a live to attend soon. I'm sure your roommates will be happy to help me take care of you, especially Aoi-kun. When I brought you back to you room the other night, he admitted that he too was quite worried about you.”

“Please, don't involve Yuta-kun and Ran-kun in your plans!!”

“Desperate situations call for desperate measures.” Rei's chuckle echoed across the break room.

\- - - - -

“kaoru...?” Crouched behind the kitchen counter, Kanata rested his chin on the palm of his hand and tilted his head slightly to the side. “i don't really understand. why do you keep 'hiding' from rei?”

Kaoru paused the game he was playing on his phone so that he could give his full attention to the other. The words he spoke were veiled with irritation.

“Are you seriously asking me why? You saw it too! He does nothing but force me to rest as soon as I have some free time! It's been five days now!” He hissed, trying to avoid being heard by anyone else.

“is that bad? are you not 'happy' that rei cares about you?” Kanata cupped his own face with his hands, smiling softly. “didn't kaoru always say he couldn't live without 'love'?”

Discomfort sent colour to Kaoru's cheeks, and he glanced away to focus his attention elsewhere. Hearing from Eichi that they had taken the man into custody, Kaoru had thought he could finally return to his everyday life... if not entirely, at least in a much more light-hearted way than before. However, he hadn't taken into account the many consequences that those events could have brought with them.

In only a few days, any certainty that everything could go back to normal had been destroyed.

The first night, when Rei had kindly asked Yuta and Nagisa to seize all of Kaoru's possessions so that he could focus on sleeping, he had laughed for entire minutes because of his partner's dramatic decision. On the contrary, when Rei had told him with a smile that he could have just retrieved his coffin from the Light Music Club in Yumenosaki to give Kaoru a place to rest in between jobs... well, that had been quite disturbing.

Kaoru couldn't say that he despised all those attentions, though. In fact, he had always felt a light and pleasant warmth in his chest every time Rei had showed concern towards him, be it asking him if he wanted to take a break or if Kaoru needed anything.

The real problems had started with his recurring dreams. Whenever he closed his eyes, Kaoru felt Rei's fingers ghosting over his skin, he heard his voice whispering alluring things in his ear, he saw Rei's tempting smile drawing him in like a moth to a flame. It was driving Kaoru nuts, and  _pretending_ not to understand the reason behind those dreams was getting difficult.

“ _This_ and _that_ are not the same.” Kaoru whispered, embarrassment still visible on his flushed face. “You know that he convinced Koga-kun to look for me? He even promised he'd let him listen to a few unreleased songs he composed at the time of the underground live house!”

“that means rei is willing to do anything for you. i am 'happy' that chiaki cares about me, because it means that i am 'important' to chiaki... why don't you feel 'happy' knowing that you are someone's 'important' person?”

Kaoru's uneasiness only seemed to increase. “T-that's not the problem!”

There was no way Kaoru could lie to himself, he was mature enough to admit that he didn't want to deprive himself of Rei's attentions, but why had he started having such dreams? That was his real concern. Had he taken advantage of Rei's kindness too much? Would putting some distance between them be better for the time being?

Kaoru lowered his gaze and ran a hand through his hair, tightening the grip on his phone. It was obvious that avoiding Rei wasn't a real solution, not to mention that he liked their current relationship; he didn't want to stir up trouble because of some stupid dreams. He had even wondered if he was the only one having those kinds of thoughts or if Rei was also afflicted by them.

Could it be that he missed dating girls so much that he was pouring out his frustration on his partner? He hadn't focused on anything else but his work and all the blackmail stuff in the last few months, but... thinking twice about it, Kaoru realized that that couldn't possibly be the reason. Was he frustrated? Yes. But the Rei in his dreams was in no way delicate and pretty like any girl he had dated before.

“Kanata-kun, at least you, don't betray me~” Kaoru sighed and circled Kanata's neck with his arms, earning a gently pat on his head. “Promise me you won't go telling Rei-kun that I'm here~”

“...so, these are your real feelings.” The whiny voice reached their ears in an almost sing song way, freezing Kaoru on the spot. “I did my best for you, and yet, you're rejecting me...”

Without freeing Kanata, Kaoru looked up and smiled nervously the moment he crossed Rei's eyes. “Hey... how long have you been here...? ♪”

“Long enough to know that you don't need my attentions and that you don't trust me...” Rei was leaning with his arms crossed against the counter, a sad frown emphasizing the pout on his face. “You should have told me I was being a nuisance.”

Kaoru was about to tell Rei not to twist his words, but got distracted by Kanata's cheerful laugh. “ahh~ i thought you two had argued, because kaoru was hiding from rei, but i am 'happy' to see you are still on good 'terms'~”

“Kanata-kun...” Kaoru studied his face with a puzzled expression. “Were you actually listening to me before?”

Kanata didn't answer him, he just kept smiling and caressed Kaoru's head again.

“I'm so envious of you, Shinkai-kun. I only wanted what's best for Kaoru-kun, but now I wonder if I was being selfish for thinking that way. Reckon I was doing that to satisfy my ego? Maybe you should be the one comforting Kaoru-kun, Shinkai-kun... he hates me so much as of right now...”

Bored by the constant whining, Kaoru clicked his tongue, finally freeing Kanata from his hug to stand up and look at Rei straight into his eyes. “Can you please stop putting words in my mouth? I never said I hate you, Rei-kun!”

A smile lit up Rei's face. “Then you'll listen to my advice and go get some rest, won't you~?”

“But... I'm not tired, I don't need to rest...” Kaoru frowned and looked away, but he knew Rei was still watching him, smiling, as if he was telling him that it was useless to try to find a way out now that he had finally found him.

\- - - - -

“...Rei-kun.” Kaoru crossed his legs and rested his cheek on the palm of his hand. The irritated frown on his face worsened when Rei, who was sitting on the couch, started humming a cheerful tune without even turning towards him, busy doing who-knows-what with his phone. “Let's take into consideration the possibility that I would like to rest even though it's barely six in the afternoon, which, if you ask me, seems kind of sad... how could I ever relax if you stay here like a watchdog?”

“I'm sorry to say I have to do it. Perhaps I should remind you that you tried to sneak out the window the last time I let my guard down with you?”

“I never did something like that!” Kaoru dropped back on his bed and crossed his arms behind his head. “...besides, I couldn't even run out the door, considering that you asked Adonis-kun to keep an eye on it. I'm seriously starting to feel like a prisoner...”

Rei glanced at him, still smiling. “...you know that we're doing this because we're worried about you, right? Our only wish is for you to be able to leave everything behind, Kaoru-kun.”

Kaoru closed his eyes and sighed: there was no need for Rei to tell him, he already knew that. He knew that Koga and Adonis were doing everything in their power to help him, the latter in a far more straightforward way than the other. Before long, Koga had gone back to yelling at him for every little thing, but there were times, mostly when Koga didn't know he was being observed, when Kaoru had noticed the concern in his eyes and the worried frown on his face.

Koga had never been as subtle as he thought he was.

“I know that I made you worry, but...” Kaoru turned on his side, absently looking at Nagisa's empty bed. “I'll really lose my mind if all I do is work and sleep.”

“Kaoru-kun...” Rei left his phone on the couch and stood up to slowly walk over to Kaoru's bed. He sat on its edge and crossed his legs, chuckling as he lowered his gaze. “I'm sorry if you're feeling like you're suffocating, but at least for now, I think it's better that you only concentrate on yourself. In five days we'll have to perform in UNDEAD's biggest live. I would like to see you get there in your best shape, so that you can vent everything that still haunts you... that is also what you were trying to do that night in the rehearsal room, right?”

Kaoru's eyes lingered a bit too long on Rei's neck and back, but he lowered his gaze on his hand after realizing what he's been doing. They were so close that just stretching his fingers would have been enough to touch Rei's, but Kaoru clenched his fist, feeling his skin itch where that same hand, in his dreams, had touched his body.

“I don't think I ever gave you a reason to assume I couldn't put my problems aside if needed...” Kaoru whispered.

“Indeed, but that's not the point.” Rei turned towards him, his lips curving into a soft smile. “Putting your problems aside isn't what I would like you to do. I hope you'll be able to turn every bad memory, your anger, every single emotion you've bottled up for so long, into a burst of energy that will burn the soul of whoever will lay their eyes upon you. I don't want anything more than to know that you finally feel better.”

Kaoru barely dared to breathe. The shiver that ran down his back contrasted with the pleasant warmth that spread in his chest. He felt so dazed because of Rei's words that, for a second, he even forgot what he wanted to say.

“But...” Kaoru sighed heavily, clenching his fist harder. “...but I already feel better, even though no one seems to believe it...”

“And yet, despite your words...” Rei smile didn't falter, but his expression became thoughtful. “When we're together, I sometimes get the feeling that your mind's somewhere else.”

Kaoru's heart skipped a beat. As he turned on his other side and squeezed the pillow, a nervous laugh echoed across the room.

“I- I don't know what you're talking about~? Our schedule is busy and we practice every single day for the upcoming live. Not to mention that Senacchi has been pestering me ever since he got back from Florence? He's always trying to prove that he's better than me somehow~ And let's not forget that you, Koga-kun and Adonis-kun keep following me like lost puppies wherever I go... ♪ You always–”

Kaoru's words got stuck in his throat as long fingers ran through his blond hair in a gentle touch.

“It's okay, Kaoru-kun. Don't feel obligated to justify yourself, take your time.”

In that moment, Kaoru didn't have the faintest idea of how he should have felt. His body recognized the caress and yearned for more, as if his past dreams had actually been real, as if it somehow had missed those touches. However, his moral integrity didn't seem to agree with his own body, which is why he buried his face into the pillow and silently nodded, afraid that his voice could betray him.

Unlike his dreams, Rei's hand stopped caressing him after a few seconds. “Maybe I should leave you alone so that you can relax and rest.”

Kaoru wondered what Rei would have said if he had told him the reason behind his uneasiness, but he found himself afraid of his own thought. Never before he had considered the possibility of facing such a situation, and he was completely overwhelmed by its intensity. With each passing second, his every certainty was crumbling right in front of him. The longer he stood by Rei's side, the more he realized that he needed him, that he wanted to be recognized by him, that he wanted his full attention... that he wanted more. Rei's every smile made his heart flutter, every day spent with him was a day full of laughter, jokes and fun.

Everything was changing, day after day.


	13. Drang 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentine Day with the first smut chapter of the story~ ♥

Kaoru awakened suddenly and glanced around the room, the light of dawn streaming in through the window. Breathless and with his body on fire, he wiped the sweat trickling down his face with his forearm and reached for his nightstand, aiming for the bottle that he usually kept there, but ending up grabbing air instead.

Slowly and silently, to avoid waking Yuta and Nagisa, he got out of bed and went to fill a glass of water in the bathroom, followed by a second and a third, hoping to relieve the dry feeling in his throat.

Nothing seemed to satisfy him, not even the breeze that cooled his sweaty skin when he threw the window open. It was like having a living fire inside his body, a fire that flared up when someone came up to him from behind and held him to their chest.

“Don't wake them up...” Rei's whisper was almost too quiet to hear; his familiar chuckle preceded the kiss on Kaoru's nape.

Kaoru tilted his head forward and covered Rei's hands with his own, letting out a soft sigh as lips brushed against his earlobe and teeth nibbled it gently. “Then...” He put on a cocky smile and turned around in the embrace. “...we shouldn't do anything that might wake them up, don't you think?”

A slow smile worked its way across Rei's face and into his eyes, a smile that didn't take long to turn into a alluring grin as he circled Kaoru's neck with his arms.

“What's with that smile?” Kaoru asked in a low voice, his hands resting on Rei's hips.

A harmonious giggle floated freely in the air around them, “It's nothing. I was merely enjoying the beautiful sight I have in front of me right now.”

“Should I take that as a compliment...?”

“I could never say something insulting. When it comes to you, Kaoru-kun, my mind is filled with only fine words.”

“...so, are you trying to win me over with your sweet-talking?” The smile on Kaoru's face was soon matched by Rei's as their lips brushed and they breathed each other's air.

“Why? Is it not working?”

The answer was quick to come, although not in the form of words.

The first kiss began softly, as if Kaoru was testing him. He gazed up at Rei when he pulled back, expectantly waiting for something while emotions flew across his features.  
Rei pulled him closer and tightened his hold around Kaoru's neck. He left a lingering kiss on his lips and drew back before kissing him again, this time passionately, eagerly, savouring it as if he was feeding on it.

“Rei-kun, seriously, we shouldn't...” Kaoru didn't have time to finish his thought, as Rei pushed him against the windowsill and shut him up with another kiss.

Kaoru glared at him with half-lidded eyes, his embarrassment deepening when Rei's hand slid between their bodies and into Kaoru's trousers.

“Can I?” Rei's voice was husky, needy. “Please, I want to touch you... _Kaoru_.”

Kaoru leaned with his forehead against the cold glass of the shower stall and clenched his fists, stifling the frustrated cry that formed in his throat as he remembered the “ _yes_ ” he’d whispered back to Rei in that dream. A dream he was frantically trying to forget, one that had officially marked both the end of his doubts and the beginning of his fears.

The running water on his burning skin wasn't enough of a relief, and it certainly wasn't helping him clear his mind. The memories of what had happened in his dream were haunting him. Everything he'd thought up until then, the feelings that had started to blossom inside him... every little thing, as amazing and incomprehensible as that sounded, finally made sense. The frustration of the past few days, his desire to be accepted and recognized by the only person – the only _guy –_ he'd ever really set his eyes on, had led him to that day, the day he couldn't pretend to be immune to Rei's magnetism anymore.

Not that Kaoru hadn't regarded Rei above other people in his life before. He was a proud guy, not an idiot. He would have never decided to be his partner if he'd never felt some sort of attraction towards him, if he'd never seen Rei as someone worthy of his attention. Except now... it was different. He liked him – a lot – but not just for his skills and charisma.

When had he started feeling that way about him? When had Kaoru started to find him attractive on an emotional level? No... attractive wasn't the right word. Rei was  _exciting_ , in more ways than one.

Sometimes, Rei was difficult to understand. He was capable of reducing you to ashes with a single gaze, but could also look at you as if you were the most precious thing in the world to him. He was an enigma that could drive you crazy and crush all your certainties, but he was also someone who wouldn't hesitate to hug you in your moment of need and whisper the softest and most reassuring words in your ear.

It was hard for Kaoru to admit to himself that he wanted something more than just being Rei's friend and partner – and to be honest, the very thought made him feel quite uncomfortable – but those dreams were haunting him, as if his subconscious was trying to tell him he needed to open his eyes. Even the question that Eichi had once asked them had taken a whole different meaning.

Had their friends noticed something in their behaviour? Had they also noticed something different in their relationship, like Eichi had? And above all: how stupid had Kaoru been for not noticing anything before now?

“This is bad...” Kaoru allowed himself to indulge in those memories that were still fresh in his mind, ones of cold fingers sliding inside his trousers, of tempting touches through his underwear. He laughed nervously when a shiver ran down his spine. “This is _really_ bad...”

He had never woken up so aroused in his entire life, and jumping in the shower hadn't helped him at all. After all, how could Kaoru calm down when his body was still trembling, still craving the sensations he had dreamt of? He couldn't help but think about how Rei had sunk to his knees before lowering Kaoru's trousers–

Kaoru bit his lower lip to stifle a moan as he grabbed his cock, unable to bear the fire that instantly pooled low in his abdomen.

“This...” He sighed and knocked his head back against the glass, letting the water slide down his flushed face. “...I can't believe I'm really doing this...”

There were a million reasons why his common sense was telling him that pleasuring himself while recalling an erotic dream he had about his best friend wasn't the right thing to do, but his brain stopped working the moment his doubts were replaced by the memory of Rei's fingertips on his cock, of his hand stroking him firmly, of the mellifluous smile that had curved his lips.

With his eyes closed and the sound of rushing water concealing his moans, Kaoru stopped thinking about the dream and started imagining Rei's lips parting and his tongue licking the underside of his cock, all without breaking eye contact with him. Kaoru's belly burned, the sensation shooting down to his cock and all the way to his toes, eliciting a louder moan that forced him to cover his mouth with his other hand. Well… not that he really cared if someone heard him, at that moment. He wanted more, he needed to free himself from the fire that was making his skin prickle and his insides feel like molten lava. He quickly picked up the pace, so close and desperate that when he finally reached his climax, the wave of pleasure rushed through him like a raging river, leaving him trembling, breathless and intoxicated.

Slowly, Kaoru opened his eyes and looked at the palm of his hand, at the result of so much built-up frustration. In a moment of total bliss, he burst out laughing.

“This is seriously the worst.”

**Author's Note:**

> I really want to thank brazenmoon for being an awesome beta, we probably would have never posted this fic without her~


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